Watching Gravity

Fruits of our labor

2009-08-28T13:36:00.004-06:00

I was just handed this Bible at work. They've just arrived in our warehouse and are due in stores October 1. I'm really excited about it. (Sorry that you can't see the whole cover. What you're looking at is part of the cover--in dark brown--with a packaging wrap--in tan.)

Inside is a straight-text Bible with cross-references in a center column on each page. Up front is 330 pages of writings from every continent and every century since the advent of the Church. Everyone from Clement and Clairvaux to the lesser-known believers like Yahya ibn 'Adi (10th century Iraq) and John Tulloch (19th century Scotland). These writings follow the Church year, so they have readings for Advent, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, and Pentecost. Along with each weeks' readings are full-color pieces of art from around the world--ancient and modern. The hardcover design is great, but I may just get myself a LeatherLike cover: The design is amazing.

I'd love to show it off sometime! Just ask.

Narrow Shoulder. Or, Don't Do a Dam Thing.

2009-08-07T09:02:00.000-06:00

(Reading Time: 4 minutes)

At the beginning of the summer, I heard to a Haitian gentleman talk about the support that Americans could provide to third-world countries. He was the guest speaker at church. “Don’t feel guilty for all the good things you have,” he said. “But you are blessed so that you can bless others.”

I said “Amen” to that.

When the local pastor got up, he put it another way. “Give out of the margins of your life.” I liked that way of saying it. We often think of the margins as the less important spaces. They're the roadside shoulders we blow past. The margins are the luxury we have in our lives. Disposable income, weekends and vacations, square footage and acreage are all margins we have in our lives. They’re the buffer zones between the road and the ditch.

Just like on the highway, it’s often in the margins where we see those in need. And just like on the highway, we often bypass them. We see that luxury as our luxury, and we dismiss our responsibilities of managing those margins wisely.

Instead, we become the reservoir for all that excess. I know I do. It’s called my savings account. It’s my buffer zone. It’s my stress reliever. That savings account looks a lot like the Hoover Dam. Inside it is a flood of blessing, but I’m damming up, holding out. There’s a recession, I need to increase my margins, is my rationale.

So why do we dam up blessing like we do? Why do we build new barns? It’s easy to justify or, if nothing else, to ignore. I think part of the reason is that we begin to believe we deserve the margins, that we have rights to them.

With our financial margins, we invest for retirement and we save up for new cars, TVs, computers, or clothes. I do. With our margins of time, we schedule our weekends full of activities and plans. I do. With out margins of space, we clutter our houses with couches and guest bedrooms and entertainment centers. I do. We treat the margins like the rest of our lives. We get quite comfortable with them. We're used to them being there. We don't use the margins ourselves, but we get quite frustrated, quite indignant actually, if someone asks if they can have some of it. I resent them quite regularly.

There’s a name, in the Middle East, for a body of water that has no outlet. It’s called the Dead Sea.

Your bank account is God’s tangible blessing. Look at it. God’s in that. You’ve got problems? Go check your bank balance (you can do it from your phone!). But just like all that water in the Hoover Dam, if it’s just sitting there, it’s doing exactly one thing: evaporating. And you know what God's doing? God’s drawing it back up—slowly, imperceptibly, graciously—so that he can rain down blessing on other fields, giving other people opportunities to use it faithfully.

But if the water is flowing through the Hoover Dam, those blessings generate energy. It generates heat and light. Of course, the recipients of your blessings can waste it, but that’s not your problem.

Maybe you budget and know where your money goes. Hi, school bills, car payments, apartment rent. The size of each person's margin is different. But I'll bet there’s still a margin in there. There’s still a blessing in there. If not, then I'm not writing this for you. But if you do, then you have the opportunity. You could give to those who have no margin. You could be the blessing.

But instead we shrug our shoulders. As much from boredom as from a vague unease. The idea of being a blessing doesn't capture our imaginations. We don't consider that we could do anything with that money. We dream of books, vacations, games, concerts, movies, but we can't get even a little creative with the ways in which we could bless others. We find no joy in giving because we don't use our imaginations.

Or maybe it's fear, our hijacked imaginations. Maybe we're afraid to see our blessings get wasted on others. Maybe we're afraid of giving without getting back. Maybe we're afraid of being taken advantage of.

But maybe the people we blow past aren't themselves the burdens, but the blessings. Maybe the burdens weighing on our shoulders are really the blessings in our margins. But we shrug or shiver, with boredom or fear. And we readjust the blessings on our back, and carry them a little farther.

"Waiting 'til the shine wears off"

2009-08-05T17:17:00.001-06:00

(Reading Time: 2.5 minutes)

CT's June cover story caught my interest, mainly because of its subtitle: "How Tim Keller Found Manhattan: The pastor of Redeemer Church is becoming an international figure because he's a local one." It caught my attention because it supported an idea that I've suggested before: When we speak to and from a particular context, we often find a universal audience.

The CT article doesn't make a strong case to support their subtitle, but that argument isn't really their point. They're focusing on Tim Keller, the man. But his influence is expanding, and the article brings that out at the end.

Indeed, one reason Keller's influence is growing is that he's in one of the most influential cities in the world: New York City. It is a fountainhead of culture, fashion, economy, art, and beliefs. New York often leads the U.S. and the world, and eventually they both follow in all these areas. It makes sense then that a man who speaks to people out front will eventually be relevant to the people who come after. (I think Paul grasped this in his desire to go to Rome, and CT alludes to this.)

But for Keller, relevance isn't a matter of trying to be relevant really. Sure he targets his audience, but not the way you'd expect. CT writes,

Redeemer's worship is seemly and traditional. Instead of using video monitors, casually dressed worshipers follow a 20-page bulletin that includes hymns, prayers, and Bible texts. Organ and a brass quartet lead the music. For evening services, jazz musicians play contemporary Christian songs.
Standing 6'4", with a bald head, glasses, and a coat and tie, Keller, 58, does not look hip. Nor is his sermon funny, charming, or daring. He preaches from the first chapter of Genesis, on the doctrine of Creation.

This is not the relevant format that we often hear advocated. In my opinion, the reason this format has worked is that it doesn't attempt to compete with culture. Megachurches can have the best programmed service with the most entertainment of any megachurch out there, but "the secular world has the means and motivation to make your operation look rinky-dink." ("You might be a big fish in a little pond. Doesn't mean you've won, because along may come a bigger one," sings Coldplay.) The attempt to compete by being more like doesn't make sense. The Gospel isn't in competition. It would rather lose if that meant it would transform its enemies. Placing the church and the Gospel in competition with mass culture by trying to be superficially relevant sends the opposite message, that winning brings transformation.

The beauty of the Cross is that when all is lost, everything changes. ("Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost," sings Coldplay.) Then, we understand that our measures for "win" and "lose" are defined by the wrong yardsticks. That Jesus wasn't using those dimensions at all. I think that's why we so often can't make sense of his kingdom. We're using the wrong yardstick.

Playing by the Rules

2009-07-07T18:00:00.002-06:00

I was as excited as anyone when Kris won “American Idol.” I liked his humility, and, like a good American, I love the underdog. After that, friends sent me links to video of him singing hymns, but more importantly, popular evangelical worship songs. Those videos confirmed the rumors I’d been hearing. Kris isn’t the first, nor is he the last, Christian to appear on “American Idol.” There have been numerous contenders of their ilk before. Indeed evangelicalism has positioned plenty of people in prominent places in U.S. mass culture.

I’ve thought about Kris’ win a bit since then. In that time, I’ve begun wondering, “Have evangelicals hijacked television’s most popular show, or has TV hijacked evangelicalism?”*

In the end, I don’t think it’s one or the other. I think both have occurred to some degree.

This for me raises, more than others, the question of the church in power. In this case, power is not exercised through strength but through influence. Can the church exercise power rightly? How does the church function when it is the dominant power? Are cultural power structures antithetical to the way the church is supposed to function?

I don’t have the answers to that.

My sister made a good point when I raised this church-in-power conundrum. I was suggesting that the church’s role was to serve—period—not exercise authority. And she pointed out that influence can come through serving, but influence is not the reason for serving. Serving is its own end, but influence often is a byproduct. Look at Joseph or Daniel or Nehemiah. I think she’s right.**

So perhaps Kris will have some influence from his position as “American Idol.” In mass culture, I think it will be almost inconsequential. In the opportunities it brings him to personally rub shoulders with celebrities of all stripes, I hope he represents Jesus well.

Is the church in power a bad thing? My brother-in-law challenged me. I couldn’t support my reasons for saying Yes very well. A church that serves from a place of power could certainly be good for the people served under its authority.

I guess my big concern is for those (Kris’ fans, and followers of other popular evangelicals) who put their hopes not in the church’s service but in its power. That power, that influence, isn’t established by the church, nor by God. It’s defined by the culture in which the power is exercised. It’s power that is given by those who defer to it. The value system underlying that power is not like the church’s value system. So even while the church may be given that power, the people who give it likely do so based on values the church cannot stand for.

* It’s a bit disorienting to talk about cultural systems like they have human motives and strategies. Only people can have them. I doubt Kris set out to strike a blow to “the liberal TV media” or to chalk up a victory for Jesus. But I’m sure that many of his evangelical fans have seen it as a victory for the good guys. The same goes for the people sitting in board rooms doing the business of American Idol: I don’t think they’re looking to upend evangelicalism.

** But we get so focused on influence that we often begin to pursue that, at first through serving, but later more directly, more efficiently, without all the costs associated with serving. But I digress.

Sunday Morning Serving

2009-06-24T21:46:00.005-06:00

Many people I talk to complain about the church they are part of. I feel lucky because I love my church. This weekend we are doing something that makes me proud. We are gathering on Sunday morning but the purpose of the gathering is to serve. How cool is that? Christians getting together to serve on a Sunday morning! It's an anomaly but it shouldn't be. I don't see why we don't gather together more often to "do outreach." Sure, singing, teaching, preaching, and the sacraments need to be practiced. But I think most churches would be more abundant and vibrant if they gathered once a month to serve others.

Also the nature of the service is quite unique. Chicago is home to the biggest gay pride parade in the country that takes place on the North Side. Some friends who live in an intentional community up there have a heart for gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual people. Often the only Christian presence that shows up are the ones with picket signs and angry words. So as an alternative we are going to hand out bottled water. Bottled water void of any "Christian" label or Bible verse. Imagine thousands of dollars worth of bottled water as an act of compassion. Just a practical way to love people because God first loved us.

Open Road

2009-06-22T11:52:00.003-06:00

This spring I made a few trips home to Iowa. I decided to drive some different routes through western Illinois and eastern Iowa. In the process, I found a small town in western Illinois I really liked. Main Street is just one block off the old Lincoln Highway. It's a one-way street with bars, restaurants, and offices looking onto the street from curtained plate-glass windows. The names are handpainted on the glass.

While I liked the stark, dry storefronts and the local menus, I think something else attracted me to the town: anonymity. At the restaurant where I ordered an open-faced ham sandwich, they didn't take a credit card. I had to run to the ATM a block and a half west to withdraw cash. When I asked the waitress if she needed to hold on to my license or something, she looked at me, "Just come back." When I drove out of town, there was no receipt with my name or signature on it.

I savored my meal sitting alone at an oversized table against the wall. I exchanged pleasantries with my waitress, but nothing more. I ignored the locals as much as they ignored me. I made up stories about the house for sale along the highway on the way out of town. I imagined the neighbors rumbling away from the bar on Main in their unmufflered truck, and the gossip criss-crossing town. I wondered whether the local pastor of the community church was hoping one day to cast his nets into bigger ponds.

All the stereotypes I was planting alongside the highway as I left town gave me another reason to like the town: It was an escape. This was not my home, not my community. I had no reputation to live up to. These were not my people, not my friends. I had no responsibilities to follow through on. I was whoever I chose to be. I was undefined. That seemed like freedom, that place where I had only possibilities.

First Things

2009-06-17T22:18:00.007-06:00

My first post in almost a month (thus, the welcome back). My excuse for the absence is explained with a series of first things:

First time ever in Boston. My friends documented it well here and here

First wedding of the year in Indiana

First time graduating from Seminary

First extended canoe trip from Wisconsin to Illinois

First time wearing a brown tuxedo in a West Virginia wedding. Props John!

Now I'm back and I'll tell you what is next but give me a second.

26 + 1 First Date = 27

2009-06-17T19:39:00.006-06:00

I went on one date when I was 26. It had all the makings of a great first date. I was so excited. I’d met her through a friend and then run into her, a second time, at a bookstore. Having a mutual friend seemed promising for the chances. I love books so I figured meeting again in a bookstore gave us at least one more thing in common. She was reading a book by an author we both could quote, and she invited me to sit down. We talked for a while, even laughed.

After that we became friends on Facebook where the conversation continued. Things were looking good. Two weeks later we were on our first date. I had tickets to a play adapted from that same author’s works. I had found a little Argentinian café just down the street. I thought she was gorgeous, and she had said yes.

I picked her up and we drove a half-hour to the theater. As we talked, I learned that she’d thought about doing more schooling, getting a theology degree, but hadn’t taken the plunge. She said she was frustrated with her big church. It was too big and impersonal. I resonated with that sentiment. I was tired of big church too. And her interest in school, in theology, resonated in me too. I loved serious thinking, about anything, but especially about God.

Smart. Beautiful. Spiritual. Everything seemed to add up. I couldn’t have orchestrated things better if I’d been a control freak.

We got to the theater a few minutes late. I apologized. The usher led us in and we slipped into the back row quietly. We hushed to hear the actor’s voice. The audience was rapt.

When the play let out, it was still early, too early to really be hungry. So we passed the café and kept walking, talking. We found ourselves 5 blocks down, looking at a red light, on a blank corner. I looked around, nothing promised anything better. We turned around and retraced our steps to the café.

There were blank silences as we drove home. I let them hang, hoping out of the emptiness something more genuine might emerge. We sat waiting for a green light with nothing to say. I dropped her off, and we thanked each other for the evening and the company.

I was at a loss. I couldn’t find an explanation. I’d done the math and it worked out nicely. It made sense. But the flat contour of the whole evening told a different story. The math worked, but the chemistry didn’t. I couldn’t explain it more than that.

Is Blessing the Carrot or the Donkey?

2009-06-11T12:00:00.000-06:00

(Continued from "Grasping Forward" and "Giving to the Poor: The Two Big Issues.")

God promises blessing.

In the Old Testament God consistently promises to bless Israel’s obedience. This is not only a spiritual sort of blessing. It’s not even necessarily blessings of peace and love among people. God’s promised blessings are those things, but they are also expressly material blessing. Passages like Genesis 24:35-36, Leviticus 26:4-13, and Deuteronomy 28:3-15 point us to a concept of blessing that includes “prosperity and well-being; long life, wealth, peace, good harvests and children” (The Mission of God, 209). These aren’t the blessings we church kids learned about in Sunday school.

This reality about God’s blessing confuses the matter of poverty for me. One might ask, “Well, are they poor because their disobedient?” If that were the case, then we would all be in poverty. Are the wealthy pleasing God that he blesses them? That doesn’t make sense either. We can’t draw straight lines from obedience to blessing. So, let’s set that question aside.

Instead, I have a more basic question. It’s sort of connected. “Why does God bless us?” In other words, “What does God want to accomplish through his blessing?”

Most often, we think of blessing as the reward for our obedience. Obedience is the means. Blessing is the end. Or, “Obedience = Blessing.” The problem we continually run into is that we obey but we don’t receive blessing. Obedience doesn’t equal blessing with any reliability. Finally, we give up obeying because we’re not seeing the benefits.

The question I’m asking moves the blessing from an end to a means. Instead of thinking about blessing as a reward, I wonder if it may be a means to another end. So we have, “Obedience + Blessing = ?” In effect, I’m asking, What if blessing is the means to another end?

What if God withholds his blessing because we believe it is the end and not the means? When we see it as the end, we won’t do anything with it except revel in it. If this isn’t God’s intent when he blesses us, then what is?

Maybe that old adage has the right idea: “To whom much is given, much is expected.” If that’s the case, then it’s vital to figure out what we’re supposed to do with God’s blessing.

You can't force it.

2009-06-09T12:00:00.001-06:00

(Continued from "How's the Reception?" and "Programmatic Prayers")

After the sermon concluded, the program cut to an empty sanctuary with the pastor in one of the aisles. He was wearing khakis and an open-collared shirt—two buttons undone—instead of his suit jacket and open-collared shirt—two buttons undone. Now for a personal message from the preacher to his television audience.

"You matter to God, and. . .” He paused. The next phrases seemed obvious, but I sensed a hesitation. Was there another thing to say that could seem natural? He continued. "You matter to us.” Apparently not. “If I could come into your house, come into your kitchen, and have a cup of coffee with you, I would. But I just can't do that with everyone who watches this program. But I want you to know God loves you. He's got a plan for you. You're important to him, you're important to others.”

The contradictions here made for an awkward moment, even for the pastor, alone with his camera crew. It’s hard to earnestly care for people you can’t see or even imagine. I sensed, not in his words but in his delivery, that he struggled to find a place of honesty from which to deliver his lines. I do not think he was disingenuous, but he was simply face-to-face with the limitations of his medium. He was desperately trying to overcome them. Instead of saying, “You matter to me,” he said, “You matter to us.” The interpersonal element could not be established nor sustained using television. Who’s this “us” that you matter to? The TV programming crew? His church’s staff? Who’s “you”? Is it you the individual, or is it “y’all” (as Hipps points out)?

The mass medium of television is just that. It’s for the masses, not the individual. Attempts to speak to the individual from a television nearly always seem ridiculous. Even when experienced politicians speak to the individual, it’s a sort of "grouped individual," not the personal individual. They say things like, “If you’re facing credit cards bills you can’t pay . . .” or “When the doctor says you can’t work and your employer says you can’t stay home. . .” It’s all these hypothetical statements to general audiences. Sometimes they even clarify by saying, “you, the American people.” It’s the best they can do.

And it’s the best this pastor could do. “You matter to us.” The church isn’t meant to be a mass culture like that. If a church-goer is always and only among the “y’all” and never the “you,” then the community has failed. It is likely both the fault of the church and the fault of the individual, but the TV medium can never avoid that failure, whereas even a megachurch leave the possibility open. For that reason alone, the nature of the TV medium runs contrary to the nature of the church. That’s why the pastor paused, why he had to say “us” instead of “me,” and why he could not pierce the medium and establish a relationship with me. He was trying to send a message that the medium could not transmit. He was trying to force a camel through the eye of a needle. That’s where God has to get involved.

Okay God, we'd love to have you show up and work through this. You've got a 30-second window. Go.

Giving to the Poor: The Two Big Issues

2009-06-06T12:00:00.002-06:00

If I break down Jesus’ command a bit, I find myself faced with two major dimensions I need to resolve. The first is giving time and/or money. The second is the identity of the poor.

Jesus command is more complex that just giving money. I wonder if I should be instead giving time, or giving time and money. I’d rather just give money. But that desire alone tells me that I should probably give my time. It’s something I want for myself, which is reason tells me it’s still a place where I don’t want God to be. Giving my time means making sacrifices elsewhere. It also means new relationships and the new commitments that come with them. It requires more than money. It requires me. I’m much more selfish about giving part of myself. Money is just money.

The third issue for me is the poverty issue itself. I think this is embedded in the broader justice issue being discussed in Christian circles. Economic equality is a trendy issue among the progressive faithful (and in the broader culture to some degree). I live on the edges of those circles, so I see bits and pieces, catch glimpses. But I’m still not convinced.

Here’s why. I tend to side a bit more with fundamentalists in this regard. I do see other priorities trumping this one. The question isn’t whether giving to the poor is a good thing. Clearly, it is. It’s a question of whether it’s the best thing. If I could only choose one or the other, which is most important? (Fortunately, it’s not an either/or. It can be a both/and!) In truth, I’ve answered that question already in the ways I allocate my time now. I give to my church faithfully and serve in a Bible study. I feel like the rich young ruler when I say that. He said, “I have kept all these things since I was a child.” That’s my fundamentalist side.

However, I think the fundamentalists have failed by nearly eliminating serving the poor altogether. (“You still lack one thing,” Jesus responded.) Economic equality and social justice are worthwhile causes, and I feel that to be balanced—or at least, more faithful—I should be supporting them in some way. I need to strike that balance then by adding an emphasis on social justice to what I’m already doing.

So then, what does this look like? How poor is poor enough? And why isn’t giving my money good enough? I mean, are we talking Chicago homeless poor, or are we talking Haiti poor? Are we talking mission poor, or garbage-dump slums poor? How poor do they have to be to qualify?

Are these even the right questions?

How to find the love of your life.

2009-06-04T10:54:00.003-06:00

I just had that conversation.

“How's your love life?”
“Anemic” was the adjective I chose.
“Anemic? Oh, that sounds bad.”
“Well that’s how it feels.”
“You know, I found my husband when I wasn’t looking for him.”
“Hmm. Well, I’m always looking.”
“Maybe you should stop looking.”

Nothing like the paradoxical relationship logic of finding a spouse.

Grasping Forward

2009-06-03T20:43:00.002-06:00

I’m trying to decide. Maybe you can help.

I told a friend, it’s like grasping in the dark. I don’t even know what questions to ask. I’m just trying to get a sense of what’s in the room. I’m feeling around for ANYTHING.

In this case, for me it starts with figuring out what Jesus really means when he says, “Go. Sell everything you have. Give the money to the poor.” I don’t want to rationalize it away. I mean to take it seriously, but I need to know whether Jesus means it literally or figuratively.

Strangely, those who would stereotypically take it literally are not the fundamentalists (that is, the literalists). Instead it’s the churches often most at odds with fundamentalists who would turn out to be the literalists with Jesus’ words here. The fundamentalists would affirm this Jesus’ command, but would then quickly prioritize so many other things ahead of it and argue that spiritual needs are much more important, that they would effectively squeeze out a literal obedience to meeting the needs of the poor. I know it. That’s where I’ve lived. That’s where I’m coming from.

But now I’m in between, looking both ways, seeing both sides, and feeling torn. So I’m trying to decide. For me, this is the next step into deeper obedience, renewed faithfulness. That’s why I need to answer the question and resolve the issue.

Maybe the answer isn’t either/or—literal versus figurative. Maybe it’s both. That’s a good likelihood. So then, it’s important to determine which one is most important now. Maybe for me specifically, or maybe for us as Christians in a flat global village, or maybe for us in the western suburbs.

I’m trying to decide. Maybe you can help.

Programmatic Prayers

2009-06-01T21:17:00.004-06:00

(Part One: "How's the Reception?")

The TV pastor concluded his message on being available to God through prayer this way. "I want you to bow your head and close your eyes with me." He adjusted his sleeve and checked his wristwatch. "Just for a moment. Just for brief moment. I want you to pray with me."

More absurdity. Here the preacher was telling me to take time, turn off the television, make space for God to speak, for me to pray. But what I saw was a preacher squeezing in a prayer before the show ended. No matter whether I had been watching in my living room or sitting in the audience, I saw a preacher who sincerely believes that we need to make time to pray but was unwilling to use the church gathering as one of those times. (If not with the gathered church, then when?)

The programmatic nature of many churches these days inhibits to opportunity for God to actually be in control. There's a schedule to maintain. When it's necessary to finish on time in order to turn over the parking lot and start the next service on time, the movement of the Holy Spirit (of God himself) gets squeezed. Okay God, we'd love to have you show up and work among us, but you've got a 2-minute window for that to happen. Go.

Again what the preacher said was contradicted by the context in which he said it. This conflict undermined the message he wanted people to take home. Instead of using the medium, or reforming the medium to reinforce his message, the medium stood at odds with the message. The message could be powerfully communicated if the medium were aligned to drive it home.

A Good Friend

2009-05-19T06:30:00.005-06:00

Did you know there are only 5 weekends in May? I realized that last night while talking with some friends. Now I'm challenged with being in two different states for two different commitments during the same weekend.

That's a good example of my life recently...the last weeks I've been pleasantly occupied but frustrated.

In this jumble I haven't been a very good friend lately. Last night, after realizing I'm going to have to make some phone calls, I started thinking about a lot of my friends....when was the last time we hung out...oh, I forgot to call him back...did he ever hear back about that job offer?...when is her graduation?...we need to get coffee like we use to...

I don't hear people talk about what makes a good friend. I'm not sure why. We have all kinds of relational books, even in the "Christian World," but not many about friendship. What makes for a good friend?

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:13-15

How's the reception?

2009-05-17T12:58:00.004-06:00

We have a Christian television channel, TBN maybe, in our cable package at my apartment. Every once in a while I stop there. T. D. Jakes and Joel O are two I enjoy getting riled up listening to. I certainly don't endorse a regular diet of them, but I've come to realize that they are lightning rods for criticism, often without honest consideration. Christians are good at doing that, myself among them regularly.

I was flipping through the channels today. I came across a preacher I've never heard of. I had no intent to stop and listen. But what he said caught my attention. He was preaching on "Seven Secrets to Victorious Living." In today's message, he was talking about being available to God in prayer. The first thing I heard him say was this: "If there were just a few who were willing to turn off their TVs to listen and be available to pray. . ."

I didn't catch results he promised. The irony--absurdity even--of what he said distracted me. If I turned off my TV, then I wouldn't be watching this program, listening to this sermon, I thought. This left me with two possible interpretations of what he actually meant.

The first possibility was that he meant that I should turn off the TV after I'm done listening to him. If this is the case, then he doesn't actually mean turn off the TV no matter what. He means turn off the TV under certain circumstances. But he leaves those circumstances open for me to figure out. He's not saying, "Don't watch TV." He's saying, "Watch the right kind of TV programming." Taken too far, I could conclude that I don't actually need to turn off the TV if I simply find enough of the right kind of programming.

The second possibility was that he meant that it would be worth my time to turn the TV off--even his sermon--and pray. If that's the case, then I wonder why he's on TV in the first place, if nothing on TV is really as important as prayer. Again, taken too far, I might conclude that spending time alone in prayer is more valuable than listening to a sermon--including one heard in church.

The contradictions between the medium and the message simply baffled me. It's like preaching one thing and practicing another. We have labels for people who's words and actions don't line up. I'm not saying this preacher doesn't absolutely believe what he's saying about turning off the television, whatever he's actually saying. I'm saying that he's failing to see how the way he's communicating it contradicts what he's saying. His medium and his message are in conflict.

Guess I'm Urban

2009-05-12T10:10:00.004-06:00

Earlier today I posted the following

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Verocious

I meant to save the draft as a reminder, not post it! I'm writing a paper on Fasting and Consumerism/Capitalism and wrote, "

Whether the meal is entertainment, shopping [...] we ferociously inhale the world around us.

I couldn't think of the word ferocious or the word vicious. So I just figured verocious was a word. It's not, but the urban dictionary thinks it is!

Fear about Love

2009-05-08T22:07:00.005-06:00

Andrew Peterson is one of my favorite song writers. While riding my bike home from work on Tuesday this line from his song, "Just as I Am," struck me

It's the fear that His love is no better than mine.

I shared this with my small group the next night...

My love is quite conditional. I'll love you if you love me. If you reciprocate my feelings, my words, my efforts back to me than all I got is love for you.

However, if you don't there won't be much love flowing from me. Worse, if you wrong me (well, I'll try not to wrong you back) I won't love you. I'll despise you, abhor you, and the last thing I'll do is pray for you.

Sound harsh? I think it sounds true of the human condition. The thing with my love is that it is about Mike. I can give and give and give but if I don't feel valued in return than I can grow and grow and grow in resentment. Why? Because I'm not being validated, because I have been wronged.

But God doesn't love like me. God gives and gives and gives and often I reject that love. God does get frustrated and angry and upset. It might boil into discipline but it is never subtracted from love. The truth is that despite my rejection God continues to pursue. Because God's love is not about God's self but about the ones he loves. That is unconditional.

Cut and Paste Bible

2009-05-01T06:19:00.001-06:00

The strength of the Bible is the unity in the text. So at times I like to re-mix it and put verses together that speak into my life. Obviously this could be detrimental if you take it out of context but what I did below holds the integrity of the passages.

So try reading it all together

Am I now trying to win human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Gal 1.10) Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? (2 Cor 3.1) See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. (Col 2.8)

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above. (Col 3.1b) In Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority (Col 2.10) Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold (2 Cor 3.12).

Conviction: Saying no to a good thing

2009-04-24T11:49:00.004-06:00

Some time back, Mike and I heard about an indie documentary making the rounds called, "Call and Response." It's in that trendy genre of documentaries that are advancing a specific cause, usually attempting to bring awareness to an injustice being suffered somewhere in the world.

We didn't even see it, just heard about it. That was enough for Mike to say, "I can't see that film. Then I'll have another thing to feel convicted about, and I'll have to do something."

I resonated with that. Don't you? There are a lot of good causes out there.

Yesterday, at work, we had a presentation from a group called "The Lost Boys Rebuilding in Southern Sudan." I already told their stories to some other friends. The Lost Boys gained notariety from, among other things, a 60 Minutes episode devoted to their story. 27,000 boys under the age of 13 fled their homes to avoid being killed by the government. They travelled 3 months, 1000 miles, to Ethiopia. They faced threats of lions, hyenas, and crocodiles. Many were killed by these predators as they tried to escape the hunt of their fellow human beings.

That was the late 80s. They were my age. While I was going to kindergarten and coloring pictures and playing cowboys and indians, they were fending off man and animal. Now, they've grown up into men, my peers. They're using their notariety to gain support and build new schools and dig new wells in southern Sudan. These are good things, great causes, worth my time, energy, money, and conviction.

I feel like Mike though. I can't be convicted about every good thing that cross my path. I can't spread myself that thin emotionally or financially. I don't let myself be.

But I could do more than I do now. I'm so privileged. But where do I draw the line? I know I could do more, but when am I doing enough? Is it ever enough? No. But at what point do I start saying no to good things?

Instead I default to saying no unless I'm really compelled to say yes. Maybe it should be the other way around. Maybe yes should be my default. Does anyone out there have a good paradigm they use for choosing?

Going to War

2009-04-21T09:12:00.002-06:00

This isn't something most Christians talk about but it's on my heart. The more I grow into God's grace the more I feel attacked.

Something often ignored in much of Western Christianity is spiritual warfare (especially some of my peace tradition background). It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago I considered it more fully. Ironically it was the physical indicators that lead me there.

There was about one month straight where I was sick. Just physically beat up from the flu, sinus infection, a busted up head, and some ankle stuff from soccer. Evil works in hidden ways far beyond our medical dictionaries and it makes sense that our bodies feel the effects. The whole Platonic spiritual/physical dichotomy is a gross misrepresentation of humanity. We are whole people, not sectioned selves.

Underneath all those ailments is this battle over the future. It has been an incredibly hard practice to just poke along towards graduation. No firm job, plans, or place to go. Just a vision, some like minds, and a lot of waiting. The more I doubt and get anxious and worry the more I try to flee God.

In light of the past "attacks," the last month has been one of the most fruitful periods in the last year. It's great to hear God anew and there has been some awesome things in my life revealed and cultivated. But as soon as God's Word comes so does a rival voice of doubt. As soon as God's blessings are realized they become twisted and convoluted. As soon as praise is shouted so is worry. As soon as rest comes so does unrest.

I can't help but be didactic through this testimony. When doubt, worry, unrest, and lies come go to God. Before you get your friend or family's advice seek God. Before you try to fix the problem seek Scripture. Before you rationalize get on your knees in prayer. Before you move quickly try to fast. Before you forget remember you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3)

Trust: A Breath of Fresh Air

2009-04-20T13:28:00.000-06:00

I’m continuing to read Jesus on Leadership. It continues to be worth my time.

Trust is the key idea I read about today. Primarily the author, Wilkes, talks about the trust that followers must have in their leaders. He talks about the level of trust James and John had in Jesus when they said to him, “We want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

At first, that doesn’t sound like trust, it sounds like selfishness. But I think trust allows people to say what they think or feel without fear. This sort of trust is a huge freedom and a valuable benefit in a relationship.

Last week, I bought a new car. Mike drove me over to pick it up before a meeting he had that evening. When he got home from the meeting, it was late, about 10pm.

“Do you want to go for a ride?” I asked. I just needed a reason and someone to share the experience with. But it wasn’t an overwhelming desire, just something that sounded fun.

After a pause, Mike said, “Honestly, not really.”

“That’s fine,” I said. I wasn't hurt. It was just a suggestion. I was glad he’d trusted me enough to be honest and not just appease me by doing something he didn’t want to do.

Honesty requires trust and that’s what James and John had with Jesus. They were willing to be selfish and not fear judgment or shaming from Jesus. Jesus, they knew, would accept them no matter what—selfishness and all.

We need that sort of trust, those sorts of relationships, in our lives. Wilkes says it well, “Trust destroys an atmosphere of control and creates an air of freedom.”

Take a deep breath. Let your pinched shoulders relax.

More here.

"You can't run away from your feelings!"

2009-04-19T16:46:00.002-06:00

Once I got a coaster for being part of a wedding. It said, "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." I really disdained it. Your heart will mislead you everytime, I thought. A fool follows his heart and ends up ruined.

Feelings can be scary. My feelings have gotten me in trouble all too often. I don’t trust them very much. They’ve led me in the wrong direction more than once.

But I can’t resist or deny the idea that God shows up in very emotional ways in the Bible. He’s angry and loving. He grieves about things and hates things. He’s jealous and joyful. God’s an emotional being, take it or leave it.

It’s hard to get a clear understanding of how God could be emotional. I don’t trust emotions much, but they’re part of who God is. I feel a lot of ugly emotions, but God is righteous and good. Feelings seem like a paradox between my experience and God’s personality.

The reason I’m thinking about this is that I just finished Feeling Like God. I wanted to give it a quick read because it’s an area of interest of mine, so I wanted to see what Chris Tiegreen had to say. This was the problem he was trying to resolve. We have a high level of trust in rational thinking and enlightened reason, and our emotions are just sort of a scatterplot graph of BB gun shots. We’re happy if our emotions make it on the graph.

There was some good stuff in the book. If you don’t mind I’ll share just a couple thoughts that relate here.

First, we tend to trust our reason much more than we trust our emotions. Is this right and good? Tiegreen asks, How many times have you been wrong about something you remembered, concluded, or believed? Plenty, right?

“What’s our response when this happens? We certainly don’t lament the unreliability of human reason and decide that it should never become the basis for our decisions.” No, “we press ahead in our quest for knowledge.” The same should be true, Tiegreen says, in how we treat our emotional dimension, “acknowledge its fallibility and continue to develop it as a powerful asset.” Haven’t emotions carried us to do courageous things, risk amazing triumphs, build beautiful new paths? Why does love have reasons that reason does not know? “Why,” asks Tiegreen, “do we decide that the flaws outweigh the useful benefits?”

I think he makes a good point here. Believing that our emotions are more prone to failure than our thoughts, that our minds are more susceptible than our hearts, simply doesn’t make sense. Both are broken by sin, redeemable by God. We need to use both humbly, but we need to nurture both to thrive and grow and guide us as we seek to be more like God.

Silence, Solitude, Hospitality and some Monks

2009-04-16T22:26:00.006-06:00

About three weeks ago I went to a monastery in Chicago for a day. I'm confident that it's not my calling in life (that noise you heard was my parents cheering).

The days weaved in and out of the daily offices and meals. Across from their living quarters and church I stayed in a guest apartment. Really, I don't have much to say about my time, which is quite fitting because no more than 50 words escaped my mouth that day. They live by the rule of weighing their words considerably and in turn speaking very little. I talk a lot, so that was hard. Surprisingly the solitude wasn't as difficult. One of my last classes here at Northern is on the Spiritual disciplines so these practices are becoming more and more comfortable. Silence and solitude.

One of the biggest impressions made on me was by a brother named Ignatius (that is a sweet name). As he escorted me to the apartment I thanked him for taking me in. He paused and said, "We are so blessed, so blessed to get to serve so many people. We are so blessed."

After he left I read the sign on the door, "Receive all guests as Christ." No wonder they feel blessed.

Delinquent Blogger

2009-04-13T08:00:00.002-06:00

Some friends told me I hadn't been blogging much. Bless you!

To the contrary, I've been busy, but the blogs haven't been as polished. Take it for what it's worth. Here's my rationale.

Sunday

2009-04-12T19:35:00.001-06:00

Matthew 28:6
He is not here; he has risen, just as he said

Saturday

2009-04-11T15:01:00.006-06:00

Today at the Marsh (the Teams Challenge Course I work at) my group consisted of 14 teenage Girl Scouts.

I explained at one element, "If you fall off the platform you land in the 'water' and sink."

A spunky girl playfully asked, "What if I'm Jesus?"

It was a whimsical comment but didn't go unnoticed.

One scout said, "Well, than today you are dead."

There was a solemn and unusual silence as they all looked towards me for direction.

"Well Jesus," I said slowly, "Today I'm sad, but tomorrow we are going to party."

A poem for Good Friday

2009-04-10T22:21:00.003-06:00

Today, Good Friday, I drove home to my parents' house, from Illinois to Iowa. I was reminded of a favorite poem of mine by a favorite poet, John Donne. It seemed appropriate:

"GOOD-FRIDAY, 1613, RIDING WESTWARD"

Friday

2009-04-10T22:04:00.004-06:00

"My God.......

My God.......?

Why.....have you forsaken me?"

my, God

Frog Soup

2009-04-06T14:38:00.004-06:00

The parable goes:

If you put a frog into a pot of boiling water,it will leap out right away to escape the danger.But, if you put a frog in a kettle that is filled with cool
and gradually heat the kettle until it starts boiling,the frog will not become aware of the threat until it is too late.

Supposedly this is false but the lesson bears remembering. So...I wonder what are the things in our culture we have grown dangerously comfortable with?

I'm not arguing to completely remove these things. I believe in balance but also believe the church has grown numb. We are called to live alternative lives and that require alternative actions.

So let's call attention to these cultural "norms"

Cars. Sure everyone has cars but whenever I drive by a bus stop and see people waiting I feel like offering them a ride. If they are headed in my direction why not use the extra seats? But this would creep most people out. We need to also remember the sheer amount of time and money that get thrown into automobiles. As Adam has pointed out before, cars are not an investment, they loose money.

Professional Sports. I love sports and follow the pros but how can we justify men (a few women?) who make millions of dollars playing games. Professional sports are pure entertainment and built upon the foundation of profit. This January the Washington Redskins let go of 20 employees because the economic recession. One month later they signed Albert Haynesworth to a record 7 year $100 million deal. Does this strike anybody else as wrong?

Television. The average American home has the TV on for 8 hours a day! What? That is insane. The statistics from that link are appalling. While teaching today a co-worker complained to me how she had a busy night because she had to watch the Cubs game, Dancing with the Stars, and the National Championship B-Ball game. The worst part of this saga is that she doesn't have a DVR! Call me crazy but I don't think that when God created us sitting in front of a screen for 8 hours a day was part of the purpose.

Internet. Ah, the world wide web, I couldn't write this post without you. So I am indebted to your resources but will still criticize. The internet, actually the personal computer pushes, people into isolation. Okay, I know you can connect with people across the world via e-mail, Skype, and Facebook but how many people's lives are truly enriched because of the Internet?

Think about it another way, can you go one day without using it? Probably not because a majority of communication relies on it. We need to ask if it is shaping us into the people we are called to be. I don't think the Web is the Antichrist but I also don't think it is the savior of our problems.

I got more but your attention span is probably already fading. ( I know mine is....and I blame the internet for that problem, it is rewiring my brain) :)

A huge detriment with these "norms," is they destroy community. They promote individualism and venerate us, the consumer, as the center of the universe. Isn't it interesting that consumption was a disease in the 19th century and today it is a way of life. I think we would do well to recover that 19th century definition.

A Single Thought

2009-04-03T22:17:00.008-06:00

Thanks to Amber and Rachel for the inspiration (If you remember the title for the post feel free to send it to me) :)

Most people will be surprised for me to write about this subject. The fact that people are surprised I’m engaging (pun intended) the topic "singleness," is telling. I’m outspoken in saying I'm content with being single. That might sound forced or fake but it’s not. I’m definitely no lone ranger but have found peace.

A lot of people have stared and literally shook their head, “How? How is that possible? I don’t believe you.” Most people think I’m odd and I can deal with that. But the difficulty is that there is only one friend ever who says he can relate. So here is a weird twist, if you think being single is lonely try being single and being the only one o.k. with that.

Because of my contentment I think many of my friends and family find it bizarre when I talk about potential relationships. I imagine them saying in their mind, “Well everyone single is searching for a mate, but Mike, well it’s Mike!.” Haha, if only people knew.

Check this out. I’ve been told that I have ridiculous standards for dating. Which probably means I have impossible standards for marriage. (Who ever started using the word “standard?” Is dating/marriage like a car impact safety test?) I’ll concede to those accusations and add another weird twist. You might be discontented with being single but imagine wanting to be discontented. As much as I am content with being single part of me would love to be discontented. I would joyfully embrace the opportunity to be discontented.

Maybe a metaphor would work well. If you walk around barefoot everywhere eventually your feet will grow callous and tough. After awhile you wouldn’t need shoes and grow content with being barefoot. But you would notice everyone like you was wearing shoes. After some time you think it would be nice to have shoes but you don’t need them because you have grown accustomed to being barefoot.

Does that make sense? All I’m saying is that it would be great to meet someone who makes me wish I wasn't single.

So I recognize this is hands down my most transparent post but I like to follow my friends lead. If this sounds despairing or like a complaint than you are reading it wrong. Every freaking day I am overwhelmed by the blessings in my life. I tell people they cannot begin to imagine how amazing my life is. The reason is because of my friends and family and the God who loves me.

If there is future wife out there for me than sweeeeeet. No lie, I'll be a good husband. In the meantime I'll wait.

I'll help you get this book....

2009-04-01T18:05:00.001-06:00

I read a lot of books for school. The good is that there is a lot I've learned. The bad is that I've learned how to surface read. With so much literature to knock out in a given week I've developed the skill of being able to skim, write, and summarize without fully abiding in the text.

All to say I am almost done with the best book I have ever read. It is called, Beyond Homelessness: Christian Faith in a culture of Displacement.

Let me say this is not a liberal-social-justice book about helping the homeless. That concern takes up about 20 pages. This is the idea; we live in a world where people don't have a home. Whether you are on the streets, a traveling businessman, or a young adult who changes jobs and friends on a whim, we are an exiled people. We just don't know how to stay rooted in a place. Our culture encourages migrancy and consumerism advocates for temporary investment.

Enough said. This is the first book I have ever read and am willing to buy for people. Not for a gift but because I think everyone should read it. Granted I don't have loads of cash but if you are interested in it let me know and I'll seriously get you a copy somehow. (Library loan, my copy, purchase a copy). It's that good.

Note: I wrote this post last week and since than have already found a temporary home for it. Also I'm not employed by the authors, I just like the book

Flooding in North Dakota: From the Frontlines

2009-03-30T08:39:00.004-06:00

A cousin of mine works at North Dakota State where major flooding has been happening. He sent an email and I thought you would appreciate it.

As many of you may or may not have heard, Fargo, ND is in the midst of record flooding. The last major flood was in 1997 and this one is going to be about 2 ft. higher than that. Many folks have been evacuated and the city is basically shut down so all who are able can help sandbag neighborhoods and existing dikes. All schools and universities have been shut down so the students can help sandbag. It has been amazing to see the community band together to help each other out during this disaster.

. . . my boss here at North Dakota State . . . built a 5 ft. tall sandbag dike around his house but today had to leave by boat because the dike was failing. . . .

As for where I live, we should be high enough but have taken precautions by sandbagging around the house. In the next couple of days, the house will become an island and we will have to wade through knee high water to get in and out of the neighborhood. I have been busy this whole week helping sandbag around my neighborhood and in other various places around Fargo. I have been able to work side by side with the guys that are involved in my Bible study which has been a good bonding experience and a time to share the love of Christ with those around us.

I have been amazed at the power of water and that it won't stop until it gets to where it's going. Which makes me more in awe of the power of Christ to rebuke the wind and the waves by the power of His words. Please pray that Christ name would be lifted up during this flood and that many would come to know the love of God in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 46:1-3, 10-11 1
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

"Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!"
The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Looks like...

2009-03-26T15:04:00.004-06:00

Last Friday I heard that I look like Jesus 14 times. Monday, 9 times. Tuesday 7 times. If I'm not told that I look like Jesus here are the others popular recent comments.

A Hippie

David Grohl

Dr. Jack Hodgins

I'm sure this is creating a serious identity crisis in my life. Beyond making me narcissistic or paranoid I'm bound to develop a Messianic complex, drive a VW van, think I'm a decent musician, and pursue the stage.

If nothing it gives me some good stories to tell but I think it also reveals a lot about first impressions and preconceived notions. I'll drum that out later...

Right on Target

2009-03-26T15:00:00.006-06:00

I have a handful of posts that are short and nothing more than random thoughts. They took me about one minute each to write so here's the first one.

Why is it every time that I go to Target I see attractive girls. I don't understand this but the Target next to us seems to be "the place," for young females to shop in Lombard. Nothing more I want to say but after observing this numerous time I thought I would share it for the benefit of my guy friends (and to compliment those women)

Playground

2009-03-25T16:26:00.002-06:00

Sunday morning my sister and I decided to take her son to the playground at the school behind their apartment—through the woods down a little asphalt path.

There are hills everywhere in the Mississippi valley. We descended through the trees, then ascended the steep hill toward the school. To the left across the parking lot was the playground, but it was fenced in so we had to circumnavigate the school to get there. We turned right.

Out in front of us another, much smaller playground came into view. My nephew was running along the sidewalk. Like planets my sister and I were orbiting the school, but he veered off in a straight line through the grass toward this playground. It had its own field of gravity.

My sister called out to him by name, "We're going this way, to the BIGGER playground."

With kids, you should say everything with exaggerated inflection. Making everything sound more exciting will convince them they want it. Even if they don’t know what you’re saying, the way you say it will communicate the meaning. Earlier, after he had made a mess with the Play Dough (okay, I helped), it was time to put it back. If you say "HURRAY!" loudly and with a sense of joy as you put each thing back in its place, kids are more likely to help clean up. In summary, celebrate everything.

This was how my sister had said it. "There's a BIGGER playground. Don't you want to go to the bigger playground?" (Also, repeat key words.)

To no avail. My nephew saw a slide (6 ft long, yellow), a bridge, and, well, that was all it took. He was climbing the steps by the time we reached the playground. We trailed behind, anxious to return to our mission.

We stood watching him, uninvolved we were. He seemed quite content though, inviting us to "Come inside" and play with him. Finally my sister snagged him, scooped him into her arms, and hauled him back toward the school, toward bigger and better things.

"I feel like there's a spiritual truth in here somewhere," she said with her son on her hip.

"I know," I laughed. "I was thinking the same thing."

As we continued around the building, back on our flight path, that spiritual truth seemed unambiguous to us: We satisfy ourselves with less when God would like to give us more. If only we would keep on course.

Now, though, as I sit here writing it, another truth springs on me. In our metaphor, my sister and I had likened ourselves to God, leading the child toward greater blessings—the more abundant life. It was the obvious lesson to both of us.

But what if we learned from the child instead of teaching him? In that light, there was a different lesson: We could be content with less, even if there is more we could strive for.

So which is it? Are we blind to the better blessings God would give? Or is contentment available with lesser things?

Sometimes God is repeating key words and communicating in a clear tone. There’s something BIGGER. Stop living for less. “Why should you die, O people of Israel? I don’t want you to die, says the Sovereign LORD. Turn back and live.”

And sometimes God is saying that we need to stay put and find contentment there. “If we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.”

God refuses to be cornered by one conclusion over the other. He's not predictable like that.

Was my nephew foolish for being happy with less? Or was my nephew showing us what Jesus meant when he said that the Kingdom would be given to such as these: content, present, invested, not wanting? Jesus once told us to become like children.

As we orbited the school, we came to yet a third playground, this one even smaller than the first. Beyond it, obscured by a hill was the sprawling playground we were destined for.

My nephew was already headed for the steps on this new, smaller play set.

“Look!” I said, with excitement in my voice, pointing beyond the hill. “Do you see that playground?”

My nephew looked up. His eyes followed my gaze. He never looked back.

Wrestle with God

2009-03-22T14:03:00.002-06:00

Heads up: this is a self-indulgent post about me. I do this normally when mulling over something and wanting to be known.

I'm looking forward to graduation. Seminary has been a place and time of confusion, change, growth, and humility. I have loved it but know it is time to move on. But the "moving on" part is what I am struggling with.

When I think about the coming year I have been hit with a profound sense of loss. I will loose out on those classes, close professor relationships, intentional spiritual formation, and learning with my classmates. But....in any given week when I am not in school (during a break or summer) my life goes on like normal. And I love it.

Rachel told me once that she thinks I'm one of the most balanced people she knows. Now that's probably a little inaccurate but I think it does speak some truth. I love my life and I love the bevy of connections and "things," I do in a given week.

Community dinner, Tuesday night at the pub, soccer games, Friday morning Bible study, church worship practice, small group, church house group, Sunday morning worship, Thursday prayer time. Not to metnion my great classes and place(s) of work.

What I take joy in the most is all of these people that color my life. They are amazing. Better yet, I live in an apartment complex with a bunch of my best friends and family members. I wouldn't trade this for anything, the chance to be surrounded by people I love. Unlike a lot of 20 somethings I'm actually quite content.

Although I'm content I am called elsewhere. My post-graduation plans will probably be delayed longer than originally thought (which is fine, because right now I am in no rush to move). But in my heart I know that I cannot stay here because God has called me somewhere else.

Where is that somewhere? I don't know. I'm still fighting and wrestling. Right now I'm looking east into the city. The scary part about that is two-fold.

First, it means the unknown. I have told God that I'm not going anywhere until he gives me people to go with. But I'm slowly realizing that might look a lot different than picking and choosing my friends to move with me.

Second, relocation means a period of mourning. It's never fun but it happens. If I get up and move towards the city everything changes. All those things I listed above will mostly disappear. The relationships will remain but they will drastically change. The "schedule," does disappear which requires adjustment.

Sure, moving means that I can find a new "church home." But I feel more and more led to help with a church start (missional, incarnational, intentional community, blah blah). Which means this "church home" doesn't exist yet! Further, I'm considering moving to a neighborhood in Chicago where I would be a major minority. In my life community has been the natural result of affinity (young adults, fellow soccer players, white people, seminary students, same church, common economic class, indie music lovers). So I am a bit daunted by finding community in a place where I have lack the quick levels of connection.

Looking over this post I realize it reads like a lament. But it isn't. It's more of a prayer. As P.T. Forsyth writes, "Prayer is wrestling with God." So I'm going to grapple and fight in that holy war. Eventually I'll loose and God's will be done. But I won't know that will if I don't cling to Him with my strength and weakness.

The Blogging Impulse

2009-03-21T19:22:00.000-06:00

Malachi 3:6-18

2009-03-19T07:41:00.002-06:00

“I am the LORD, and I do not change. That is why you descendants of Jacob are not already destroyed. Ever since the days of your ancestors, you have scorned my decrees and failed to obey them. Now return to me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies.

“But you ask, ‘How can we return when we have never gone away?’

“Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me!

“But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’

“You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease.* Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “Then all nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies.

“You have said terrible things about me,” says the LORD.

“But you say, ‘What do you mean? What have we said against you?’

“You have said, ‘What’s the use of serving God? What have we gained by obeying his commands or by trying to show the LORD of Heaven’s Armies that we are sorry for our sins? From now on we will call the arrogant blessed. For those who do evil get rich, and those who dare God to punish them suffer no harm.’”

Then those who feared the LORD spoke with each other, and the LORD listened to what they said. In his presence, a scroll of remembrance was written to record the names of those who feared him and always thought about the honor of his name.

“They will be my people,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “On the day when I act in judgment, they will be my own special treasure. I will spare them as a father spares an obedient child. Then you will again see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.”

10% of Karl Barth

2009-03-18T09:31:00.002-06:00

A friend told me how amazing Word 2007's AutoSummarize feature is. I decided to try it out. I used my long post on Barth. I know some people don't have the patience long blog posts, so here's a merciful summary at 10% the original length. I didn't make any corrections to the summary. Word did pretty well.

My colleague responded this way, “Barth [pronounced “Bart” without the -th] was a liberal theologian who couldn’t explain man’s capacity for evil in two world wars.” Barth’s major purpose is to help us learn about and learn from 19th-century theology’s interaction with contemporary worldviews. He believes 19th-century theology was intent on being relevant to contemporary philosophy. Theology got caught in 19th-century philosophy’s whirlwind of change. Upon a secular foundation, theology attempted to build a sacred house. Barth is not endorsing a particular worldview though. Rather, he’s saying that all worldviews obscure Christian theology.

Nineteenth-century evangelical theology assumed that this was so” (23). When Barth gave this lecture in 1957, he said theology was still paying for its errors from the 19th century. Barth grasped this. “What if by talking about Christianity as a religion these theologians had already ceased to speak of Christianity…? In doing so, it is no longer Christian faith.

Barth was pointing us not to another man-made worldview. For me at least, 19th-century theology no longer held any future” (14).

It's all a lie....I eat an apple a day and look what happened

2009-03-12T08:46:00.004-06:00

I hate getting sick. After 5 sluggish days of fighting through work and school I got K.O. last night. This morning it felt like I gargled a cup full of pebbles. So I had to call in sick ("Hi it's Mike, can you get a sub for the sub?)

So I decided to venture to the Walgreens Take Care Clinic. I have insurance but it is that kind of insurance that only covers you in the event you get thrown into a trash compactor or an airplane engine falls on you.

The Clinic wasn't bad but I paid $60 to find out what I knew already; I'm sick. The doc showed me some drugs in the Walgreens that were locked behind a glass door, so I suppose I feel like I was a priveleged consumer. She reasoned that I could be good to go tomorrow but ony time would tell. I did find out that my blood pressure is 120ish/70ish (is that good?). My heart rate is 60 (the doctor seemed surprised, so I figure that's good).

The plus side of all this is that I'm getting time to work on my final papers for next week. The negative side is that I can't do jack. It's no secret that I like to be busy and make my life so. So I find humility in illness. But there is also a period of solitude as my future continues to take shape.

Stem Cells - You've got options

2009-03-11T12:56:00.003-06:00

With stem cell research back in the news, I'm reposting this, which I posted elsewhere a few years back. Please forgive the tone. Back then, no one read my blog. I know, things haven't changed that much...

-----------------------------------

Michael Bloomberg, the Republican mayor of New York, anonymously donated $100 Million to Johns Hopkins University, according to an insider speaking on the condition of anonymity. (Anonymity must be the in thing right now, except that no one abides by it. So who spilled the beans? Apparently there's no reason we shouldn't know.)

Part of his donation is going to fund stem cell research, a controversial medical field that many Republicans are against. The Democrats are standardly liberal and progressive, so they'll run with anything mostly. But it does divide the Republicans. Senator Bill Frist has dissented from the President on this policy. President Bush has limited embryonic stem cell research to some 70 or so current lines. (I don't know what that means really.)

But what you aren't being told is this: there are 5 types of stem cells. Embryonic stem cells are the most famous and controversial because they destroy life in the process of research. Second, are fetal stem cells, taken from aborted children's eventual genitalia, also requiring death. Both of these are controversial for ethical reasons; many believe that it is wrong to destroy babies and potential lives while others simply argue that it opens the door to decisions that will be unethical down the road. But there are 3 types of stem cells that are perfectly acceptable for either objector. Adult stem cells have been isolated from bone marrow, brains, breasts, lungs, teeth, and other parts, posing no threat to any life. Umbilical cord stems cells and placenta stem cells are also available for research, and these are thrown out after birth but could be used for advancing stem cell research.

Now the one advantage embryonic stem cells have over others is their potential to become any type of stem cell, like seeds you could plant and grow any type of tree. However, these stem cells have failed to turn potential into product, into any medically beneficial results. They are supported based on potential not actual results. (This article never states embryonic stem cells have anything more than a potential, but criticizes marrow stem cells, which have, for not being able to differentiate. He says that embyonic stem cells "do" differentiate, but it's more accurate to say they "do in the process of forming a baby, but we haven't made them do that effectively yet." A perfect example of bias reporting by limiting the information.)

On the other hand, adult stem cell research has already produced results leading to cures for previously incurable diseases. Plus, they can be taken from the individual needing the medical help, and using theirs means it's an identical DNA match. Adult stem cells are no more difficult to harvest and require less sacrifice and indeed more choice for the person choosing to supply them. And we're all about choosing our own destiny right?

Why don't they tell us this? I have no idea. The ideological connections between embryonic stem cell research and abortion could be made. Using medically-driven arguments to justify aborting babies becomes a noble cause in the minds of some. But there really isn't much logical justification for it when adult stem cells are producing the results that embryos are only promising.

And, just like ensuring Michael Bloomberg's anonymity, that's a promise we can't trust.

Heavy Hitters: Karl Barth on the Christian Faith and Contemporary Worldviews

2009-03-04T08:25:00.003-06:00

Karl Barth may be a name you’ve heard in the past, but my guess is you know very little about him. I think I can sum up in about 3 sentences what I know. The first thing I figured out about him was that he was “neo-Orthodox.” I didn’t really know what that meant so I asked a really smart colleague of mine, “I get the sense” I said, “that conservatives think Barth’s to liberal, but liberals think he’s too conservative, so where do he fall?” My colleague responded this way, “Barth [pronounced “Bart” without the -th] was a liberal theologian who couldn’t explain man’s capacity for evil in two world wars.” This was an immensely helpful answer to me.* Liberal theologians generally affirm the innate goodness of men, denying original sin. Barth couldn’t rationally uphold this position from the things he witnessed. The third thing I learned was what the book in my hands tells me: He’s “generally regarded as the greatest Protestant thinker of modern times.”

These limited references to Barth interested me in his thought. I read part of his Evangelical Theology, but none of it made much sense. I listened to a lecture on his view of the Ten Commandments and had trouble articulating even his metaphors. Fortunately I recently picked up a shorter (96 pgs) book of three lectures called The Humanity of God that I’d bought at a local used book fair. I found it much more digestible.

Of the 3 lectures in the book, I most appreciated, “Evangelical Theology in the 19th Century”—though all three are worthwhile. In it Barth reviews just what the title indicates, but he goes beyond a review to help us learn from it and to point us toward worthwhile pursuits. Thus, here I’d like to highlight some of his points and comment on them.

Barth’s major purpose is to help us learn about and learn from 19th-century theology’s interaction with contemporary worldviews. He believes 19th-century theology was intent on being relevant to contemporary philosophy. It wanted to hang out with the cool crowd. But these intentions displaced theology’s primary tasks. Barth writes, “openness to the world meant that through the open windows and doors came so much stimulation for thought and discussion that there was hardly time or love or zeal left for the task to be accomplished within the house itself” (19). Theology got caught in 19th-century philosophy’s whirlwind of change. So much so that theology failed to maintain its heading and instead discoursed into other worthwhile but peripheral concerns.

Why? Barth believes part of the reason was that “Nineteenth-century theology ascribed normative character to the ideas of its environment” (19). In other words, theologians became convinced that it had to live by the rules that modern philosophy had constructed. Yet, as Barth will point out, these very rules undermined theology’s work, values, and worldview.

Instead, Barth believes that theology would do well to stay focused, maintaining its own—if parallel—course, abiding by its own rules, content with its own direction, and less concerned with being relevant to the surrounding culture. In that way, it might be better suited to benefit its surroundings, indeed even prove more relevant. “…the most honest commerce with the world might best be assured when the theologians, unheeding the favors or disfavors of this world, confronted it with the results of theological research carried out for its own sake. It did not enter their minds that respectable dogmatics could be good apologetics.” (20). Indeed, self-centered theology would not only be more relevant but also be better suited to explain itself, to make its defense, to present its view. “Man in the 19th century might have taken the theologians more seriously if they themselves had not taken him so seriously” (20). Theology was like an insecure man, intent on winning the affection and respect of his peers.**

To its own detriment, theology became consumed with explaining itself, defending itself, and presenting its view within the framework of the 19th-century worldview. Upon a secular foundation, theology attempted to build a sacred house. It was using metric measurements to describe a building based on English units. “…openness to the world led necessarily to the specific assumption that theology could defend its own cause only within the framework of a total view of man, the universe, and God which could commend universal recognition….[and] speak from within one of the current philosophies and world views” (20).

More than that, Barth seems to be saying, theologians were trying to validate their English-measured building by using philosophy’s metric standards. In fact, they were so concerned with making the conversion from English to metric that they were no longer working on the house itself. “They set out to prove the possibility of faith in its relatedness to, and its conditioning by, the world views which were normative for their contemporaries and even for themselves.” (21) But how effective can this relating be? “Was it possible to win the ‘gentiles’ for the Christian cause by first accepting the ‘gentile’ point of view. . . ?” (23)

According to Barth’s review of the 19th century, metric standards grew outdated by their own users. It was replaced by a new system of measurement. This left behind the theologians who had concerned themselves with a clear conversion. They became irrelevant—the very thing they were trying to prevent by translating their theology into contemporary philosophical language. “The world views changed in the course of the century; but there were always theologians who went along, more or less convinced, if not enthusiastic, and who started the theological task afresh within the new framework” (21).

This was, in my mind, the most interesting point Barth made. All of his points about 19th-century theology seem true for us looking back on 20th-century theology (perhaps more so in the church than in academic theology though; I don’t know enough to say). But his words, just quoted, could be applied quite easily to our present shift from modernism to postmodernism. Many are attempting to uphold modernism only because they’ve worked so hard at translating their theology for that worldview. To give up modernism as lost is to start over with this translation. However, as Barth points out, others will start the theological task afresh, and with enthusiasm. Barth is not endorsing a particular worldview though. Rather, he’s saying that all worldviews obscure Christian theology.

Those who are pushing forward to bring theology to postmodernism are not crucifying the faith but seeking to recontextualize it, retranslate it.*** If this is true, modern theologians should not be demonizing postmodern ones but instead empowering them to rebuild, encouraging them even.

Still, some persist in defending, not the Christian faith, but the modern worldview that Christian faith has been adapted to so well. Yet, “Is there any proof that acceptance of a particular world view will make Christianity generally accessible or even possible? . . . . Nineteenth-century evangelical theology assumed that this was so” (23). If we do the same, we are doomed to repeat the history of the liberal theologians of the 19th century. Indeed, if we believe that translating the Christian faith, finally, into postmodern terms will be sufficient, we are doomed as well. Those who are on the cutting edge today in translating the Christian faith may tomorrow be holding us back from moving beyond postmodernism.

When Barth gave this lecture in 1957, he said theology was still paying for its errors from the 19th century. One hundred years of momentum is hard to shake. “Theology is still being penalized for accepting the Renaissance discovery that man was the measure of all things, including Christian things. On this ground the testimony of Christian faith, however honest, and however richly endowed with Biblical and Reformation recollections, could only exist like a fish out of water” (26). The Christian faith cannot breathe the air of modernity forever precisely because modernity is man-made. The Christian faith is not built for man-made systems, and it will always be a foreign agent within them.

Man-made systems must be transformed by God’s words to us, not the other way around. Barth grasped this. “What if by talking about Christianity as a religion these theologians had already ceased to speak of Christianity…? What if the only relevant way of speaking of Christianity was from within?” (30-31) No, indeed, Christianity is always a fish out of water. We must instead take the fish and find the water instead of trying to give the fish lungs to breathe. In doing so, it is no longer a fish. In doing so, it is no longer Christian faith.

Even if we believe we’ve found some universal truth relevant to the Christian faith, “Even granted the existence of man’s religious disposition, can the Christian faith be called one of its expressions, in other words a ‘religion’?” (23) To call Christianity a “religion” is to attribute to Christianity a meaning that is not valid, it is to taken our concept of “religion” and attach its meaning to Christianity. But Christianity cannot stand on the legs of “religion.” “Religion” cannot support it. Christianity cannot be measure by religion’s yardstick. Barth was pointing us not to another man-made worldview. He was pointing out that no man-made worldview would suffice. Instead we must go back repeatedly, stubbornly, redundantly, desperately to our Bibles and be shaped again by God’s molds and be fitted by his measurements.

* My colleague’s insight drew my attention to two of Barth’s own passages that confirmed this analysis. Barth spoke personally, saying, “…he who in 1933 may still have been spellbound by the theology of the 19th century was hopelessly condemned, save for a special intervention of grace, to bet on the wrong horse in regard to national socialism and during the clash between the Confessing Church and the German Christians who supported the new regime (Kirchenkampf). I mentioned these developments only as symptoms [of theology’s infatuation with contemporary thought]” (28).

“One day in August 1914 stands out in my personal memory as a black day. Ninety-three German intellectuals impressed public opinion by their proclamation in support of the way policy of Wilhelm II and his counselors. Among these intellectuals I discovered to my horror almost all my theological teachers whom I had greatly venerated. I suddenly realized that I could not any longer follow either their ethics and dogmatics or their understanding of the Bible and of history. For me at least, 19th-century theology no longer held any future” (14).

His analysis was indeed quite essential in helping me to grasp the crux of Barth’s theology because it pointed me to the source for it.

** We have a hard time imagining that being apart from our surroundings could indeed better prepare us to relate to our culture. Yet those who change culture are not those who are most like it.

*** It reminds me of Barth’s metaphor of the aufhebung nature: continuity through discontinuity. That is, theology dies in modernism—discontinuing there—only to continue anew in postmodernism.

Come Together

2009-03-02T23:29:00.006-06:00

I guess what I like about my Dad's e-mail is it sounds like the "older" generation has NOT (typo before) forgotten us.

I remember a conversation with my buddy John about 2 years ago. He said that our generation is really a bunch of orphans. So many have been abandoned by not only parents but by our elders. Think about the number of broken families and the way our culture has stratified us by age. Nursing homes, workplaces, schools, neighborhoods, are sectioned by age. Now even Facebook! I often hear students at the public schools groan because their parents have entered the Facebook world and now they want to be their friends! (Imagine that, your parent wants to be your friend on Facebook....derrr!) Worse, in the church we have discipleship (Sunday School) and alternative services that cater to specific age groups.

In the course of the past years some of the most valuable relationships in my life have been across generational divides. I actually seek and search for these relationships because the elder men and women have wisdom beyond my years. The guys I play soccer with on Thursday nights, my professors, the mentors at my church, my parents, my grandparents, all people who are so vital in forming me into Christ's church.

With my Dad's e-mail in mind it's refreshing to hear that we aren't just seeking an impossible possibility. I think there are steps to be made by both generations, it's just sad when we can't give up our tradition or humbly accept or limitations to enter the same space. Of all places, the church should be the place where the diversity in the body crosses generations.

Generational Divide

2009-03-01T17:46:00.005-06:00

This topic has been close to my heart during the past three years. Ironically my Dad sent me the following e-mail prompting this post.

hi Mike,

As you know, I'm not a blogger...but if you happen to be looking for an idea to run with, here's one. Recently I read an article that younger people under the age of 30 are creating new internet community connections because the fastest growing demographic on Facebook is the over 40 crowd. We have invaded your world. What is it that causes to insist on building these artificial walls? What is that refuses to believe that we can really connect across the generations? Is it fear, misunderstanding, stereotyping or a combination of several factors? And why is it that the church seems to tragically follow the culture instead of leading the culture in this vein? As I used to say, "just wondering......"

Steal it.....borrow it...use it...abuse it...or just forget it.

Love ya,

Daddio, a member of the over 40 crow d.

Ash Wednesday

2009-02-25T13:00:00.003-06:00

Here is a timely reminder; today is Ash Wednesday. Even if you haven't spent weeks contemplating what to do for Lent, now is as good of a time as ever. Last year I gave up the Internet. This year I'm going to try some new ways to celebrate the time. Not only by giving something up but also adding something. For me the former was easy to think of, the latter is really hard.

Dan linked one of his friend's Facebook note about Ash Wednesday. So I'll just keeping passing along the good words

Putting a roof over my head

2009-02-25T09:38:00.003-06:00

My friend posted recently a blog entry I liked. I mean, I like her posts most of the time anyway, but I especially liked this one. I liked it for a lot of reasons. For one, she said things I resonated with but am too afraid to admit in writing. (Then she did it again.) She has more courage than I do. I was jealous. I was glad someone said it. Sometimes you need to hear someone else say what you feel. That’s how I know good writing: It does that. It puts vague feelings into concrete words—things I’m trying to think, wanting to say, but don’t know how to form into sentences that follow the rules of grammar. I can’t ever find those sentences it seems. I need someone to give them to me. Hers were like a gift, so I decided to stop being jealous.

Another reason I liked her post was that she let the contradictions stand like an A-frame house, each declaration leaning against the other. She was saying how she felt, and she felt both ways. I feel both ways too, but I can’t stand to let contradictions stay in the same paragraph together. I have to make things make sense. But she just said both because they were both true. Sometimes forcing things to make sense just gets in the way of what’s true. The truth doesn’t always make sense. That’s not a mark against truth though. Don’t think it is.

God will give you more than you can handle

2009-02-24T08:22:00.003-06:00

I’ve heard people say, “God will not give you more than you can handle.” That’s a nice sentiment, but I don’t think it’s true. It’s meant to be reassuring, and it sounds that way, but if it’s not true, it’s worthless.

The sentiment misquotes 1 Cor 10:13, which says, God “will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.” The mistake is to conflate temptations and burdens when we should keep the two distinct. Temptations can certainly weigh a man down, and burdens can certainly birth temptations, but while they may be connected, they are not identical. In the case of temptations, I think God promises to guard us from them because failure in the face of temptation is sin. Failing to resist temptation damages our relationship with him. This is not always so with burdens.

No, I believe, God will give you more than you can handle. Sometime burdens will be heavier than you can carry.

I think Paul would agree. In 2 Cor 12:7-8 he wrote, “I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me. . . . Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.” That burden—that thorn—was too much for Paul. So how can I believe that God won’t give me more than I can handle? I get the impression that God’s not necessarily interested in proving that I’ve got what it takes to make it in this world. No, I think God’s interested giving us opportunities to screw it up trying.

How can God be glorified by a bunch of failures? It doesn’t make much sense. But that seems to be how it is. Plenty of others have faced more than they could handle too: Joseph got stuck in a prison, the Israelites got stuck between a river and an army, Ezekiel wasn’t allowed to weep for his dead wife—the disciples bailing a sinking ship, Stephen stoned to death, Peter stuck in prison. They couldn’t hack it. They needed a God who could.

I find that a whole lot more comforting. I like knowing that God will give me more than I can manage. Why? Because it will force me to depend on him more. Instead of pushing me away from God the way sin does, burdens can pull me closer. That’s what I think God is more interested in—more than making life easy. And honestly, you have to work really hard to make life easy. Even then, there’s no guarantee.

Like I said, there’s an important difference between temptations and burdens. Now, burdens certainly do sometimes tempt me to abandon God. And even if God gives me the burden, that doesn’t mean he’s tempting me. “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.” The burden is not the source of temptation, it’s how my heart responds to the burden. That’s why James can say, “When you are being tempted, do not say, ‘God is tempting me.’ . . . He never tempts anyone.” My heart’s the problem. It’s just bent on making burdens into temptations.

As for burdens, when God gives us more than we can stand, he doesn’t leave us to struggle. God offers us his strength—not our own—to bear it. Instead of transforming the burden into a temptation, my heart can draw near to God for strength. Drawing near. That sounds like something God would want.

It’s not necessarily about escaping the burden but about relying on God more for strength, and knowing him better (loving him, even) in the process. Burdens can pull us into deeper dependence on him, allowing us to discover that “God is faithful.” That’s 1 Cor 10:13. We get a chance to see God in action—a personal sort of knowledge. The God who can hack it. Paul saw it too. After all his begging, God assured him, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

If I had to pick between hearing those words and having burdens I could manage on my own, give me those words any day. Give me that assurance. Those words describe, I think, how God can be glorified by a bunch of failures, hearts bent in the wrong direction, and clinging to God for all they’re worth.

Believing that God won’t give me more than I can bear is a dangerous thing to believe because when that burden has me pinned to the ground, I will begin questioning God and maybe even give up on him—let go. All because I don’t have the right expectations of God, believing he’s promised something he never did.

As burdens go, Jesus himself said a few words about them. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

You don’t have to carry your burdens alone. And hopefully you don’t think that you can. You can’t make it in the world, and Jesus is ready for you to stop trying and get some rest. God will give you more than you can stand. But Jesus came along to take the load off your shoulders, to carry the weight, and pull you along toward God. Oh sure, you may be holding on to God for all your worth, but don’t think you’re really the one with the good grip.

A Conversation: On Social Justice

2009-02-17T08:28:00.002-06:00

“We heard this guy talk tonight,” Mike was saying, “about doing ministry at a Gay Pride parade, one of the biggest parades in the country.” We were sitting at Rock Bottom. His friend, Nick, from England was in for the weekend. They’d been out to a church gathering. Now, he had to experience an American brewery. “They were simply handing out water bottles to the men in the parade. So this guy’s telling this story about one guy who comes up, dressed in almost nothing, big as a bodybuilder, for a drink. ‘Why you guys doing this?’ the Body asked this guy. And he responded, ‘Because Jesus loves you and so do we.’ And then he says the Body just lit into him, telling him how Christians are just judgmental hypocrites and all this. And the guy just stands there listening to the Body.”

“All this in a thong?” I was incredulous. The visual by itself made me uncomfortable.

“I know! But, so get this, the Body finishes his rant, and this guy just says, ‘So do you still want the water?’”

“I couldn’t do that,” I said. “I’d lose my bearings and forget what I was there to do. I’d be trying to defend Jesus.” It was the truth as I imagined it. “I wish I could keep that vision, but I know I’d get caught up in the argument.”

“No joke.”

“We did a similar thing at the Uni,” Nick recalled. Uni, I thought, I wish I had an accent. “It’s crazy how much people will resist kindness though. There was this big hill on campus, and one day we were offering to carry people’s bags up this big hill, but no one would let us. We were like ‘We just want to carry your bags up the hill. It’s a steep hill. Let us carry your bags.’”

“They’re afraid you’re going to run off with their computer,” Mike interjected.

I thought of a comment I’d once heard, that we refuse to help others out of fear—fear of being used, abused, taken advantage of. That made sense. But for people to refuse help for the same reasons—I was sad because I could make sense of that, too. Fear is such an ugly thing, dividing us from each other like that.

“Yeah, they’re all like, ‘No, no, I can carry my own bags. I don’t need any help,’” Nick was continuing. “We couldn’t serve people as much as we were trying.”

“I’ve been trying to fit that in my head—the whole social justice and compassionate action thing,” I admitted. “I mean, in Christian circles, you’ve got evangelism and discipleship and those make sense to me. I know what those are for. But I can’t figure out what all this social justice is for.”

“It doesn’t fit in those categories,” Mike recognized.

“No, it doesn’t. It’s like, it comes before all that,” I reasoned. “It seems to me like Christians have gotten this bad rap for all the reasons the Body was saying. He’s right about it in a lot of ways. And what that guy with the water bottles was doing was sort of clean-up, trying to redeem the reputation Christians have. It was basically public relations, image management. But is that it? Is that all we’re trying to accomplish with this social justice trend? Evangelism and discipleship, we know what the goals are and what the results are. We’re clear on that. We can measure that. But compassion and justice, what are the results for that? How do you know if you’re getting anywhere?”

“You don’t,” Mike acknowledged.

“So is it really an important part of being a Christian, if it isn’t saving souls or something like that?”

Then Nick, ignoring my logical cornering, said simply, “But serving is its own end.”

And I knew he was right. It was like a math problem I was setting up the wrong way. Once I had the answer though, the whole problem seemed intuitive. Why hadn’t I seen it before? Jesus washed his disciples’ feet. “Even Judas’s,” Nick pointed out. Jesus set us that example of service. Since he did it for us, Jesus said, we should do it for others. I was so stuck in my concern with making sure we had something measurable, tangible to show for our work, that the equation didn’t make any sense. In reality, service isn’t about creating results but about obeying Christ.

But more than obedience even, it was about being like Christ. So much so, that even if nothing came of a cup of cold water, even still, that act of service was its own end. It looked like Christ, and that was enough.

Smelling my Shampoo

2009-02-17T01:04:00.004-06:00

Most of my posts start off with me apologizing for not posting more frequently. So....
Ok, now that's over.

I hold my breath while shampooing my hair. At Walgreens every month they have free giveaways. You buy the product and then send in a recepit and they send you a check. I don't do this every month but if I'm there I'll take a look at the catalog posted in the store. That's how I haven't paid for toothpaste, shampoo, toothbrushes, deoderant, in the past 3 years.

Anywho, I was using my Herbal Essence shampoo and realized it smells really good. But for some reason I hold my breath while washing my hair and have missed out on the magnormous aroma.

(Yes, this is a sign of my downward spiral in the realm of blog posting)

Church Scramble

2009-02-13T17:15:00.002-06:00

Pastor in the age of Celebrity (by Scot McKnight, i.e., worth your while)

Dirty Church: Clean it Up! (oh wait, that's Orbit)

Going to Church in Sin City.

State of the Church online survey

So what, now churches should manufacture experiences for consumers? (we could be a better church if we just did enough market research!)

I have this fear that for all the good series branding our churches are creating, we're going to start anticipating them like they're the next Batman sequel.

Shout out to singles!

"Having Church" (audio)

Something about churches laying people off in a bad economy rubs me the wrong way. The church isn't a business like that...

Another church gets in bed.

Technophilia 2

2009-02-13T16:49:00.003-06:00

On Technology:
What Cell Phones are saying.
Kindle, iPhone, you
make your handwriting into a font
I told you, we like to keep our old cell phone numbers

On Facebook
5 Years Old already?
CT: "entertaining saboteur"
Can you quit Facebook? Is that even possible?

On Twitter
Versus Blogs
Prayer
Blink overload
overkill, even
dead

Returning to Something New

2009-02-12T10:04:00.008-06:00

Reasons:

1. My friends told me that my posts were too long. (Now if they were real "friends"...)

2. I needed to stay focused at work, so in order to clear my head I started sending myself emails about what I was thinking that I could file away. It was a functional brain dump.

3. Most of these ideas are potential blog posts.

4. I've filed 150 emails in the last 10 months.

5. I'll never write blogs for all, half, or even a quarter of them.

6. People are afraid, myself included, to comment on a polished blog post, so they never do. Maybe less polished blog posts would generate more conversation.

7. "Blogs" are "web logs." So in an effort to log something, I thought I'd log my thoughts instead of filing them in a black hole of an email folder.

8. I don't want to inundate, deluge, or otherwise clutter Watching Gravity.

Solution: TheSecondEclectic

What this means for you, the reader: Watching Gravity will continue to be the place for more fleshed out ideas. TheSecondEclectic is sort of a proving grounds for prototypes and simply an aggregate for my thinking. Engage with it, or disregard it. You have to decide if it's of any value.

Unlike posts here, posts at TheSecondEclectic will mostly be without context, without preface, and a bit more bite-size, unedited, and nascent (maybe what a blog was meant to be). Some may not make much sense at all. I think the context will emerge only if you follow it for any length of time.

I'd love to have you along for the ride. We could turn up the music, put the top down, and sing at the top of our lungs. "DON'T YOU REMEMBER YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME, BABY?!"

Madness, Delusions, Coincidence, Purpose!

2009-02-11T08:28:00.003-06:00

It happened again. This time I was sitting at Jiffy Lube in the dingy waiting room looking onto the garage floor. It smelled of used oil. I was reading Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five, laughing, and ignoring a ridiculous talk show on the static television and an air wrench zipping off lug nuts. But it didn’t start there.

It started in southwest Michigan last July in a bookstore smaller than my apartment, packed with untreated-pine shelves, stacked floor to ceiling with books. Wood pulp hung in the air. A struck match would’ve killed us all. So it goes. That’s where I bought Slaughterhouse-Five. Like usual, I bought the book because a friend raved about Vonnegut. And it was a classic—the kind best purchased at small, used bookstores like this, in places like southwest Michigan.

I didn’t start reading the book until today, six months later, at Jiffy Lube.

In between that bookstore and this oil change, another friend mentioned in passing his favorite bookshop. This one was bigger but had pine shelves too and books stacked up to the drop-ceiling. And unlike the freestanding fire hazard along Red Arrow Highway, the Frugal Muse was in a strip mall in the suburbs, one of three locations.

After he told me about Frugal Muse and liking the name, I found the address online and decided to devote Sunday afternoon to visiting it. As usual, all the books were spine out except for a few on the front tables. So, as usual, I pressed my ear to my shoulder to read titles. I’ve been made fun of for that, but I don’t know how else to do it.

The place was dominated by shelves of fiction but scant on religion, long on biography but spare on philosophy and sociology. Still, off the sociology shelves I pulled a few books, abandoning religion and philosophy to their respective teleologies. Among the books were two slim volumes with titles that would cause most eyes to glaze over in their reading.

One had been translated from French, a noble effort. It recounted how childhood developed in the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries—not a childhood but childhood in general, the concept. Apparently, before that, childhood didn’t really exist. The age of innocence was a foreign idea. Once weaned from their mother’s breast, children were autonomous individuals fully endowed with personhood. But in the 16th century a fundamental shift took place, beginning with “coddling” children, then extending to protecting and nurturing children, until much of family life centered on them.

I don’t remember the title of this noble work, and I wouldn’t have remembered the second book’s title either, except for what happened at Jiffy Lube. The second book was called Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds. It was an old book from the 1840s, now in the public domain, and reprinted cheaply by some nameless publisher. I leafed through it briefly, but the writing was scholarly and difficult, and I couldn’t focus. I can’t read hardly at all when there’s music playing like there was at Frugal Muse that Sunday afternoon. For air wrenches and blaring televisions, it’s music that really distracts my attention. The cacophony of a thousand conversations doesn’t distract me, but the sound of one voice cannot be ignored. I read a bit about an obsession with tulips that arose in the country of the Netherlands. The author remarked at how it seems the more delicate an object, the greater the attentiveness it is given (a bit like children, I suppose). In the case of one wealthy Dutchman, 100,000 florins was not too much for 40 bulbs.

All this was novel and provincial, but the music was distracting, and the reading hard going, so I abandoned the book for something lighter, or less important, or less substantial, more contemporary. It seemed a curious oddity, the kind of book you thumb through on a Sunday afternoon, nothing worth purchasing.

But all this happened before I’d begun reading Slaughterhouse-Five. I know nothing about its author, Kurt Vonnegut, except what others have told me, and that is very little. He is an eclectic writer as far as I’m concerned. I thought for a long time that Slaughterhouse-Five was a sort of Stephen King-type horror novel, like Clockwork Orange, or One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Weird. So when I finally dropped the book into my bag this morning, I expected to be exposed to something altogether different. Perhaps indeed it is, for I’ve only just started reading it. Just today, at Jiffy Lube.

So as I read along—the narrator was talking about the Second World War and all wars being like glaciers—he began mentioning limericks about, well I won’t say, and songs about Wisconsin, and then he began quoting from books too. And before I knew it, he was talking about a book by Charles Mackay, who wrote about the mass pilgrimage of millions of children in the Children’s Crusade of 1213. Apparently, two monks convinced these children that they were headed to Palestine when really they were put on ships that sank in the Mediterranean on their way to North Africa. The ships that did make it, delivered their goods into slavery there. The book was titled Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds.

I gasped when I read the title and recalled my Sunday afternoon just a few weeks ago at the Frugal Muse in the strip mall that my friend had mentioned in passing. It was long after I’d already purchased Slaughterhouse-Five. How now that I should run across the same title is this brief time span? Could running across this obscure title in the span of a month be merely coincidence? I wondered. Am I detecting a pattern like a cheap metal detector where there are really only random pinging sounds? Is it meaningful—more than coincidence?

Or am I the common denominator here? Is it possible that somehow, despite my varied interests, that I am attracted to obscure and modern books that are in fact quite similar? Perhaps my interests aren’t so varied as I believed. Maybe these two books have more similarities than I recognize. But maybe not.

Then I thought about those children in 1213 and how they had probably all been weaned autonomous and fully endowed with personhood. I thought about how in the year 1213 nobody had thought of them as innocent, and so hadn’t coddled or nurtured them. I wondered what families did before the 1600s. What was their telos then? I mean seriously, where were their parents?

* Note the alternate title for Slaughterhouse-Five.

Come In

2009-02-08T18:11:00.002-06:00

I'm thinking a lot about hospitality and what it means to be a welcoming person. Not just shaking hands and smiling but actually welcoming them into my apartment, my life, my space, etc. I haven't fully developed this idea yet but when looking at Jesus I see a lot of guidance for being a person/community of hospitality. So I shared a bit of this in my tag-team sermon last week with Paul.

Here it is in written form so just imagine me saying these words. Or better yet imagine James Earl Jones saying it because his voice is a whole lot more commanding than mine!

Jesus was in one sense homeless, an erratic traveler, a nomad. But he also drew people in wherever he went. He called his body a place of dwelling, a temple.

He said "come to me all who are weary and burden and I will give you rest." (Mt 11:28).

When you come to rest you are fed, "this is my body broken for you." (Matt 26:26, 1 Cor 11:24)

When you come to rest you are no longer thirsty, "this is my blood spilled for you." (Matt 26:27, 11 Cor 11:25).

Wherever he went he was a presence of hospitality that invited people into the family of fellowship with the Father, Holy Spirit, and fellow believers.

Sex at Church

2009-02-06T16:35:00.000-06:00

Shocking as it sounds, everyone's talking about it. Is it the church's latest gimmick, or is the church redeeming sex from a culture that's used it as its own gimmick?

The latest headline-making sermon series is from NewSpring Church in South Carolina with its own website, iwantanewmarriage.com. The pastor, Perry Noble, is a famed blogger and has been revving people up in anticipation.

Another church is "Bringing Sexy Back." (HT:JT?)

But NewSpring and Revolution Church aren't the first churches to promote sex from the pulpit. There have been others paving the way. For example, "Pure Sex" is a sermon series that has been franchised around the country, with websites like MyBestSexLife.com or Iamturnedon.com. They've even been advertising on billboards.

At Mark Driscoll's Mars Hill in Seattle, they talked a whole lot about sex during their peasant princess series in Fall 2008.

Other churches encouraged all their couples to have sex every day for a month.

And it certainly has gotten people's attention, including the media (NBC, CBS, FOX).

If I were married, I'd be all about this too. I'd be happy if my church mandated sex for a month too. "Honey, remember what the pastor said."

While I'm certain that these series included very valuable, marriage-changing sermons, it's hard not to feel pushed aside, relegated to the sexless minority. I'm not the only one, either. The Search posted a 3-part series on his site: 1, 2, 3. She Worships offered her own thoughts on it too a while back.

For a minority already painfully aware of their Facebook's relationship status--and reminded of it every week looking around the church lobby--the church isn't helping. No, we don't want to be recognized and pitied like we have a handicap. We don't want the pastor to say, "Now, singles, where are you? Raise your hands. Let me say talk to you specifically for a moment...." But being ignored isn't what we're asking for either--that just magnifies the loneliness (and I'm speaking as someone who's part of one of the best young adult ministries in Chicagoland).

When the church narrows its focus to segments and demographics, its gospel shrivels. The robust embrace of the Gospel should be magnified in the church's radically inclusive message. For "the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself." That's more than we can say for sex.

Patterns

2009-02-04T08:30:00.000-06:00

Have you heard about “Ticket to Ride”? I think it’s an old game, but it’s gained renewed popularity. It’s none too complex. You simply build a railroad between two cities you’ve been assigned while others are building theirs. There are conflicts of course, and longer rail lines are worth more points, but that’s pretty much the game.

My exposure to “Ticket to Ride” happened 3 times in a week’s time, between Christmas and New Years. A colleague first told me about it after he’d played it over Christmas. Then, a college friend mentioned playing it on his Facebook status. Finally, a third friend, told me about having played it recently herself. None of these friends know each other. By New Years’ Eve, I was playing it myself. It seemed inevitable.

I had a similar experience, one I’m sure you can relate to, this time with a book—well, actually, an author.

Since my trip to Congo in September, I’ve been more attuned to events in and around DR Congo. The Economist writes plenty about it. That’s where I first read the name, “Chinua Achebe.” It was a passing note about a novelist I’d never heard of, but the name stuck in my brain, I suppose because I like books in general. Then, before the election, I was reading Obama’s Dreams from My Father. In it, he mentions Achebe. Hailing him as perhaps the most famous African writer of the 20th century who sufficiently captured the African experience and condition. “Have you heard of him?” I finally asked a well-read colleague of mine. It was a foregone conclusion. Achebe is a must-read in world literature. Mentally, I added the title to my list of books to read. (Isn’t that how we often choose books to read?)

I think this is most often how things get my attention, emerging this way. I hear about the same thing repeatedly, and once some threshold of curiosity is reached, I go looking for more about them. Do you notice these patterns in your own experience?

Finding the Flow critique

2009-02-03T08:10:00.000-06:00

The authors define a small group, somewhat traditionally, as a “microcosm of the larger church.” They define the purpose of small groups in a few different ways, all quite similar. In their view, small groups exist to address two basic needs: “to be known and to be connected to something bigger than ourselves.” And later, “make the primary goal of the group spiritual growth, and then create authentic community as the context for that larger purpose” (emphasis mine).

This seems somewhat contradictory though. They seem to be saying that the “larger purpose” of the group is the spiritual growth of the individual. In other words, the purpose of the group is to address “two basic needs” the individual has. How can the individual’s needs or spiritual growth be the “larger purpose” of the whole group? This doesn’t make sense to me.

Later they say it a bit differently: “the point of a small group is transformation” (emphasis theirs), later saying that “transformation usually happens during difficult times.” From this, I would conclude that small groups’ primary purpose is individual spiritual growth accomplished by struggling together.

Spiritual growth is certainly possible this way, but it still seems to lack anything like a “larger purpose.” Even if we defined that purpose as the spiritual growth of all individuals in the group, it’s still wouldn’t be “larger.” “Larger purpose” as I understand it must be bigger than the group, even bigger than the sum of its parts.

To this end, I think the purpose must be defined in relation to God and his glory. The purpose of the small group is not the growth of the individual(s) but about the glory of God. Of course, God is glorified in people who are transformed into the character of Christ. Yet it also happens among the individuals, in the relationships between them, in the gritty conflict and reconciliation that goes on between people, not just within them personally. In fact, transformation isn’t visible apart from relationships. This is the “larger purpose” of the small group, being a context of committed relationships, where God’s power is seen in the conflict, reconciliation, and love among his people (“they will know we are Christians by our love” and all that). We must define the appropriate end (God and his glory) and not stop shy of it (at personal spiritual growth).*

I imagine the authors would likely agree with my nuance. They see conflict as an important aspect of small group life. I agree completely when they say, “Conflict has a purpose. It is not something to be avoided.” However, the chapter focuses almost exclusively on conflict between the facilitator and other members of the group. I haven’t faced a lot of conflict in my group personally, and I’m sure addressing this sort of conflict is essential. However, I think the chapter should have also addressed how to mediate conflict between others. Mediation is addressed in passing in the accompanying appendix, but I think they could have offered valuable advice beyond the appendix’s outline. This chapter already dealt with probably the most complex ideas of the book, but I think this addition would have been valuable.

That said, I must add a personal note. The chapter on conflict challenged me beyond my small group context to think hard about addressing conflict in my life. It convicted me in my attitude toward others and toward conflict when I read, “I’m not very close to that person so it doesn’t matter anyway” and “bringing a conflict to someone shows a deep level of respect for that person.” I was forced to admit that I didn’t have much respect for a few people and that I didn’t care much about those relationships, but I knew that I probably should anyway. With these words echoing in my heart, and with God’s gracious shove, I resolved some conflict that had been brewing for a while. I’m thankful for that. With these sorts of counterintuitive admonitions about conflict, I think the authors give us good reason to believe that conflict and reconciliation are essential for being transformed into the people of God, for his glory.

*Lewis makes this point in his essay, “First and Second Things” in God in the Dock.

Finding the Flow

2009-02-02T08:10:00.001-06:00

I’ve been leading a small group for over 3 years. In that time, it has been through a cycle of death and rebirth. And I have been with it through a cycle of excitement, discouragement, and renewal. When I started 3 years ago, I prepared lessons full of my insights and information about the Scripture we were reading. Now, 3 years later, I write down all my questions about the Scripture we are reading. About the only thing that hasn’t changed is the book we’re reading—the Bible.

I’ve never read a book about leading small groups, so when a friend was looking for some bloggers to review this book, I decided to volunteer. She sent me a copy of Finding the Flow. The title immediately made me think of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s (that’s “cheek-sent-me-high,” fun to say) book Flow. Sure enough, the authors were alluding to it with their title. But they were also using it to liken the small group to a river. Carrying this forward they titled their chapters things like “Charting the Course” (Stages of Group Life), “Stirring the Waters” (Asking Good Questions), and “Rocks in the Riverbed” (Navigating Group Conflict). While the titles were a little cutesy and not wholly intuitive, the metaphor on the whole guided the writing but did not restrict it.

The book has two distinctive features worth mentioning. The first feature is the “Do This” sidebars, which appear frequently throughout the book. (I appreciate that they avoided extending the river metaphor here to something like “Paddles.”) These features suggested practical ways to implement or further explore the ideas being discussed. These types of sidebars can often be uncreative and useless, but not so here. Most of the suggestions are feasible and worthwhile. Most often, I found myself thinking, “That would be valuable or insightful” or “I wonder what interesting details that would expose.”

The second unique feature is the personal stories that appear throughout the book. The two authors Tara and Jenn trade off telling stories about their small group experiences that fit the concepts, problems, and solutions they’re talking about. The stories are a nice break from more analytical discussions.

These stories also establish a congenial tone for the book, which carries on throughout. The more casual tone makes the book easy and readable. They also made the authors a bit more accessible and the ideas a bit more digestible.

With this sort of accessibility, the authors’ own backgrounds are a bit more open to scrutiny as well. Picking up the book, the back cover notes that one worked as a pastor and the other serves as an elder within their church. They describe the church as “nontraditional,” specializing in being “unchurchy,” and made up mostly of people “in their twenties and thirties.” Jenn brings a corporate background to her perspectives on group dynamics and leadership and recently “started engaging in spiritual direction.” Both authors work now as life “coaches,” an emphasis which comes through strongly in the chapter on developing new leaders, “Creating New Streams.” Growing closer to God through information-gatherings is “a modernist idea,” they tell the reader. They refer to books ranging from John Steinbeck’s The Grape of Wrath and P. J. O’Rourke’s Holidays in Hell to Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence and Dudley Weeks’ The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution.

There’s plenty of Bible in there too. Tara pulls no punches—“My bias is for the Bible,” she writes, suggesting that it’s the best book for small group study when seasoned with open-ended questions and a Scripture-driven imagination. Lectio divina, C.S. Lewis, and N.T. Wright are other alternatives. “Choose something substantive,” she advises.

The 200+ pages are broken into 7 chapters (with an Introduction and 7 short appendices also). They address the following topics: Knowing Yourself (the facilitator), Stages of Group Life, Listening to God and Others, Asking Good Questions, Navigating Group Conflict, Developing New Leaders, and Spiritual Transformation. Except for maybe one chapter, I felt I could read through each one in a single sitting. But that is not to say that the chapters are without substance. Indeed, I think the book addresses some of the foundational matters small group facilitators should think through (including the distinction between “leaders” and “facilitators”). The book is an easy read, and the suggestions are substantive enough for readers to come back to for fresh ideas and ways to navigate basic obstacles they’re facing.

For my first book on small groups, I felt it offered some good things to think about. This book explores the dynamics of small groups and looks for God in the mix. I thought it balanced the philosophy of small groups well with practical application, and connected the two. I’d primarily recommend it for a facilitator who’s currently leading a group. It may help someone who’s preparing for one or considering leading one, but I think it’s most valuable to someone actively involved with one. I’ve already recommended it to the other small group leaders I know, and I will probably lend my copy to another friend as well. I guess that’s an endorsement.

In my next post, I’ll offer a bit of a critique and personal note.

Commitment or Constrainment?

2009-01-30T07:52:00.003-06:00

No, I'm not talking about marriage. I apologize if you are disappointed. Talking about decisions, future, etc.

I rejoice in how transient my life is. I'm in my mid-20's and have already lived and visited numerous places in the world. Countries my parents and grand-parents have never been or will ever be. I recently drove to Mexico for a week just because I could. Really, I'm spoiled. How many people have the discretionary income, time, and opportunity to just go on a road trip with their friends? No many.

Because I'm single my place of dwelling is primarily up to me (sure God, family, calling, work, friends play a part). So as I anticpate graduation the "world," is at my fingertips. Oh, the options. This is like giving me $10 for iTunes, or letting Adam walk into a bookstore with a blank check, or trying to choose where to eat in Chicago suburbs!

Theoretically speaking, I (and many of my friends) could up and move tomorrow. After graduation I know there will be opportunities for me across the United States and the world. I don't say this to be cocky or prideful, it's just the truth. Many of us young single adults with a four year degree (or more) bred from a middle class background have the privilege of being transient.

So where to go?

Fear says, "be careful of constraint. If you go somewhere and you don't like it that would be terrible. You are so young, take advantage of it."

Truth says, "you need to commit. You just can't be a nomad hoping from place to place. That is no way to live. Community, deep relationships matter, they foster intimacy and life."

Wisdom says, "don't just stay around here because you have these deep relationships. Don't become too comfortable and use that as an excuse to not follow where God is leading."

This I am sure. The attraction of other places will always remain. They are unknown, contain possibilities, and have an alluring mystery. God surely calls us to go out into the "wilderness." I am also sure that in a world of transience and mobility it is a greater discipline to remain committed and rooted in a particular location.

I guess the one place I am looking for is the balance.

Recent Reading

2009-01-29T13:45:00.004-06:00

I read plenty, and from plenty of sources. I try to maintain a variety of streams, although I know it's hard not to insulate myself with writers whose ideas I will already agree with.

If you're interested, you can see some of what I'm currently reading here. These are a few notable articles I've read and appreciated recently. You can also subscribe to this site feed via Google Reader and follow it that way.

Enjoy.

Avoiding Grace

2009-01-23T08:25:00.000-06:00

I am the best of men when I am alone. I am also the worst of them then as well. I have learned that there is no such thing as a Christian hermit. The life of the Christian only occurs in relation to others. No one is a Christian by himself. What would he look like?

Oh, sure, we feel changed and improved over time, but it's only a delusion if we are not better to be around. The change is real only as we rub each other the wrong way and learn how to keep loving each other. If no one benefits from your changing self except you, you can be sure it is worthless. This is why the greatest commandments are relational: "Love God. Love people." Loving your enemies, your neighbors, and your God is the substance of the Christian faith. Nothing else. We are changed only as our relationships change us.

The rub of conflict always seems to slow a relationship down. Conversation is closed off. Distance grows. But for the Christian, conflict can be the grease that moves us closer to God by making us a bit more like him as we relate to others. That the friction becomes the fuel for God's work in you is a paradox built by grace.

Creating conflict is easy. Just go about your business. Conflict for me has meant two things: apologizing and confrontation. I hate both. I am good at reasoning myself out of doing them and instead glossing things over. But I am no more like Christ then, and neither is my counterpart.

I prefer to believe that I am a good man. Apologizing dislodges that belief. I can't apologize and still believe that. Or, if I'm a bad man, I would prefer to be the one telling myself that than to have others do it. But confrontation opens me to that possibility. Maybe I'm the one who's wrong.

Resolving it all is the scary part. It's scary because I won't be the same when it's over. I like who I am now. But God won't let me settle in here, the way I am. He's not content with letting me be half finished and better than whomever I might compare myself to. Maybe Paul had something like this in mind when he wrote, "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling." I'm feelin' that.

Even before God, we are not alone (Foster said it to comfort us). We are accountable. We stand in relation to God. In the same way that we get ready for a wedding, if we are to be ready for heaven (the wedding and the reception and the dancing), we must be "clothed with Christ," in part by resolving conflict with others. We've got to get ready for the party by letting conflict fuel the change in us. It's grace at work.

I still don't like conflict or confrontation or apologizing. But I love God, so I'm making an effort. But I'm just starting, and it's slow and awkward and unsettling. Where I have faced conflict, I am trying to confront it. Where I have been wrong, I am trying to apologize. I still hate it, but it's getting a little easier.

Just a little.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
Colossians 3:13-14

That's Super

2009-01-21T23:15:00.003-06:00

A couple of years ago CT published this article about Christianity and football. Not only does the author teach at my parents alma mater but he is a Pittsburgh Steelers fan which made me like it even more. If you want a better perspective than read that article, I won't be offended.

I'm a Steelers fan. Yes, I do have a Terrible Towel. No, I do not refer to the Pittsburgh Steelers as “we,” “us,” “our.” I am excited that they are in the Super Bowl. Like everything I critically think about why I cheer for the Steelers and the logic of my fanship.

Probably the greatest draw to the Steelers is the positive memories I have with my family. Both parents are from Pittsburgh and although I don’t see my extended family much it is something we all hold in common. From a young age I inherited my Dad’s team and have made the choice to cheer for them as well. (Do you see the overtly religious overtones here? This is exactly how people talk about their faith.) The city of Pittsburgh conjures up good memories of family vacations, Grandma’s apple butter, my cousin’s big backyard, and road trips.

Although I have never lived there the blue collar town of Pittsburgh fascinates me. The football team epitomizes the people of the city. They are gritty, hard working, and simple. All traits I admire. They are loyal to their team and expect the best. Also traits I admire.

The population has declined rapidly in the past 30 years. The economy has seen better days. So in a city steeped in crisis (and what feels like a culture of depression) there is a football team that has a tradition of success. It gives them a chance for vicarious triumph.

I’m not going to call the Steelers “saviors” of the city. I won’t justify the temporary and artificial hope of professional sports. But the ethos of their team reflects the character of the people who live there. In most professional sports it is rare to find a team and a city that are concerned with more than money and entertainment. Sure the Steelers are a financial enterprise but I commend their investment into their specific location.

Now the city is on the eve of a re-birth. With the relocation of some companies and the arts it is starting to become trendy. If Pittsburgh is a hipster place in years to come that is fine. As long as they aren’t too hip for their football team.

Blinks ("Blog Links")

2009-01-19T16:43:00.003-06:00

I have cool friends. A few of them blog too. I've mentioned them before, but I appreciated some of their writing from the weekend and thought I'd pass it along to you.

Laura wrote a few thoughts about growing up and waiting to wake up 10-years-old again. I've asked other young adults how old they feel, and I get a similar response: 30 at work. 15 the rest of the time. It's part of being a twixter.

Chaka posted a quote from Soren Kierkegaard that kicked him in the pants. It's definitely aiming for the groin.

My friend Amber (the aspiring writer) posted some good thoughts the differences between Youth Pastors as Rockstars. Every youth pastor should read it. Anyone in ministry or on mission should too.

A Prayer

2009-01-18T14:23:00.004-06:00

A couple weeks back Adam posted a prayer. I appreciate Scot McKnight's blog where he frequently writes out his prayers along with a bevy of other wise insights. I find that when I try to pray my mind often wanders but when writing my prayers I am focused, sure, and aware of my place before God. So for about the last two years my "journal," just consists of my prayers for the day.

The prayers of the saints and of Bible are often used in personal and corporate worship. I find it so empowering to use another Christian's prayer as my own. In a mysterious way we come together and unite beyond time and space. Through the power of the Spirit the prayer, (which originallg might have met a completely different need than my use of it) echos into eternity.

For example, when I read Adam's prayer I was thinking about my post-graduation plans (finding a source of income), my desire for simplicity and God's demand that I count him as my only resource. I don't know what Adam was thinking when he penned those words but their relevance to my life is a testimony to the power of prayer.

We are doing a great disservice to one another if we are not sharing our prayer language and content. So here is a prayer that I often rely on, it is in a way my version of the Jesus Prayer. It is a prayer I use to center myself when feeling overwhelmed or anxious

One in the Father
One in the Son
One in the Spirit
Three in One

Fear and Good Works

2009-01-15T13:14:00.002-06:00

I was recently looking over this article, when I came across this line: “I believe that at our cores, we all want to help others, but we are unwilling to take the risk.”

It was an intriguing claim to me, the idea that we innately desire to lend a hand to someone who needs it. I look into my own heart and oftentimes don't see that. Sometimes I do.

I think of a simple case like someone stranded on the highway. I don't think I've ever stopped for someone with car trouble (once, for an accident). I don't rationalize it each time I pass a stopped car, because by now it's just habit to not stop. But my reasoning goes something like, "I could stop, but I have somewhere to be. Besides maybe it's a serial killer using it as a ploy." Don't laugh. You think it too. "And if it's not a serial killer, they might think I'm a serial killer. If it is a legit car problem, I'm sure they have a cell phone and have already called for help. They don't need mine."

What further interested me was that the author cited fear as the reason we avoid helping others. Our fear of risk, of danger I suppose, is stronger than what he calls our intrinsic desire to help. We weigh it out, do the math, and pass them by. "I don't want to die today. But if they do really need help, I don't know how long it will take, and I don't have all day."

Strangely, growing up, my favorite Bible story was the parable of the Good Samaritan. I just liked the compassion it embodied--going out of your way to help a stranger. That compassion connected with me. I think the Good Samaritan was taking a risk himself, like stopping in the bad part of town known for crime and you're the minority.

But now it seems like a naive story from my childhood.

So what do you think? Is it in our nature to help others? Is it fear that prevents us from following through on doing good for others?

Define Diversity

2009-01-14T12:12:00.005-06:00

Starting another semester lends to blog-writing-apathy. But with Adam's blistering pace I'm going to grind out this post in a couple of quick minutes (even though it is a little undeveloped!).

I give props where props are due. So props to my Mom! In the course of conversation this weekend we discussed diversity within the church. She made the important point of diversity within context. A major mandate of the church is to be contextual sensitive in respect to it's location, people, needs, etc. So diversity shouldn't be any other way!

This requires an expanded definition and appropriation of what constitutes diversity. So I'm looking to the Bible for an accurate view of diveristy. This is a limited survey and predominately based from the New Testament. Also the list is defnitely not exhuastive.

Imagine what this would look like in your church.

Spiritual Gifts- 1 Corinthians 12:1-11. One spirit but multiplicity of gifts

Age- I Peter 5- young men and elders. 1 Timothy 5:2- young and older women. All ages are included in answering the call of Christian living.

Gender-Acts 8:12, Romans 16- male and female. Men and women both play a prominent role in the body of Christ. Paul, James, Gideon, Miriam, Mary, and Phoebe all were ministers of God's covenant.

Family- Colossians 3-All memebers of the family have roles in their own nuclear clan and the family of God.

Socio-economic class-Luke 14:13, 1 Corinthians 11 (Paul's instruction abou the Lord's supper is all about rich and poor not eating together). What would it look like to have a church full of people from different social classes. I'm becoming convinced that classism is becoming the new racism.

What if our context doesn't afford an opportunity for diversity in the above areas? For instance, several communities are predominately white, black, rich, or poor. Some churches constitute a bunch of senior citizens or young people.

I believe when our context becomes increasingly homogenized we need to be prophetic and question what that is. Why is it that our context (city, neighborhood, etc) only has white people, only has rich people, only has men, only has blacks...? We must be critical in examining the powers that underlie the potential for diversity. If we lack the possibility of diversity than we might find that we are already segregated based on an underlying affinity.

In Digestion

2009-01-13T13:32:00.004-06:00

Thanks for the conversations (both on- and offline) about the past few posts. Here's the whole series if you missed one.

"Have It Your Way" - the conflict between affinity and the virtue of selflessness
"It's Better Here" - the conflict between affinity and diversity
"I'm Lovin' It" - diversity as affinity, and affinity for God's values
"The Fire's Ready" - beyond affinity

Two comments from Bryan and Ben interested me in regards to their experiences with diverse small groups.

Bryan said: "Our Bible Study is racially diverse. We have white-folk, a few Latinos, a black Jamaican 'mon', and some mutts that I dare not even try to categorize. This is all in a group of about 15 or so people and the thing that unites us is our common Christian walk."

Ben said: "I've been in two very diverse groups (age, race, class, marital status) that I found static and unchallenged while I've found groups with a bunch of other hipster post collegians to be rock solid."

Any final thoughts from you?

"The Fire's Ready"

2009-01-13T09:37:00.000-06:00

Do we love the same things God does?

In 1 John 4:7-17, John writes “anyone who does not love does not know God.” If we are going to have God’s priorities, then we must begin with loving too. Jesus clarified this better when he instructed us to love God and love people, our first two priorities. At the end of his famous chapter on love (1 Cor 13:11-12), Paul says that this sort of love will, in the end, transform us, indeed make us like God.

And it makes sense. John argues the same thing in 1 John 4. As we begin to mirror God’s priorities—loving the way God loves, loving what God loves—we begin to know God, to be like him, to approach him.

Interestingly, I think that if you could find a few people who loved what God loves and hated what he hates, you’d find quite a variety of people. They wouldn’t all be the Religious Right. They wouldn’t all hail from Emergent Village. They wouldn’t all be white Westerners with certain views about God’s mission in the world. They wouldn’t be learned intellectuals. And they wouldn’t all be like me, I have to admit.

So what of this matter with affinity? That’s what started this whole thing. What about affinity’s propensity to promote selfishness and discourage diversity?

I think it is something like what Lewis said, “We love too weakly.” This word affinity means something like “having a liking for or a natural inclination toward.” It lacks any sort of inspiring passion. It sounds like warm water. What’s that good for but putting out fires?

When God gets hold of our lazy affinity, it changes. It’s a bit like Paul’s “cloudy mirror” scrubbed clear. We see detail, brightness, contrast. In short, our smoldering affinity becomes burning love.

Where affinity was driven by my own preferences, love is driven by the other’s best interest. Where affinity focused inwardly (how dark it is!), love shines outward for others to find their way. Where affinity narrowed our field of vision, loves broadens it. Where affinity found commonality among friends, love covers over a multitude of sins and reconciles enemies. Where affinity selected one and rejected many, love binds all together.

When love gets hold of selfishness, it transforms our exclusive interests into skills that serve others. When love gets hold of diversity, our differences supply for each others’ needs.

When we make choices driven by love, we are not choosing to meet our own needs. We are seeking to meet others’. When we’re church shopping, we’re not looking for what will first and only meet our needs. We’re looking for a place to serve and pour into others’. When we’re faced with conflict in small group, we don’t react by abandoning it. We approach it as an opportunity for love to do what it does.

And in the process we are changed.

“God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.”

"I'm Lovin' It"

2009-01-12T09:12:00.002-06:00

As Mike and I talked about church shopping and small group hopping, we dreamed about what a small group could look like if it were more diverse. What would bind them together? Commitment? A common vision? What would compel them to work through conflict, to keep coming back?

Then, I said to him: “But then, isn’t the unifying aspect just a commitment to diversity? Doesn’t it just become an affinity for diversity? If a small group is put together in the interest of acceptance and reconciliation, isn’t that just another way of categorizing them?” Sure it’s a noble purpose, one everyone would support these days. But underneath, it’s the same old affinity. Even in this “ideal” small group, we were back to trying to avoid affinity and subvert selfishness.

We have the option in the U.S. not to live with people who aren’t like us. Thus, diversity itself becomes optionalized. It’s just another matter for our desires to decide. Affinity. We couldn’t get around it.

A few weeks later I sat down at Chipotle, where all great mysteries are given light.

I sat down outside, enjoying some of the last warm days of November before winter settled in. Off to my right, at a table for four sat two girls and two guys. The first girl looked to have a Latino heritage, the second a European one. The one guy was Asian, and the other was Arab, complete with a turban and a surprisingly dirty mouth. I sat listening to them laugh about something or other. They were the most diverse group I’d ever witnessed, and they seemed to genuinely enjoy being together.

I gawked at this diversity anomaly for a while. And I thought about it from a spiritual standpoint. While outwardly, these 4 seemed to embody diversity, inwardly their affinity embodied unity. They valued the same things, laughed at the same things. After all, our commonalities bring us together far more often than our differences do.

I think the same is true as we relate to God, who is most unlike us (“wholly other,” Tozer wrote). Our affinity, our desire, is what shapes us more like him. It gives us common ground to connect on. The more we become like him, the nearer we approach him (Lewis writes of this in The Four Loves). “Be holy, for I am holy,” he said. Holiness is a value of God’s. If we are going to approach him, we must become like him. We must be holy too. (It was our differences that separated us from God in the first place.)

In becoming like God (Eph 5:1) it’s not so much about always knowing the right things but about loving the right things. It’s not so much about knowing what to do but about knowing what’s important. It means knowing which decisions we can leave to others and which ones we must make ourselves.

I think what it means is loving what God loves and hating what God hates*. I think that’s part of what God meant when he said, “These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me.” God doesn’t much care for what we say but where our hearts are. We can know all the right things, but if we don’t love the right things we are nothing.

Do we love the same things God does?

In 1 John 4:7-17, John writes “anyone who does not love does not know God.” If we are going to have God’s priorities, then we must begin with loving too. Jesus clarified this better when he instructed us to love God and love people, our first two priorities. At the end of his famous chapter on love (1 Cor 13:11-12), Paul says that this sort of love will, in the end, transform us, indeed make us like God.

And it makes sense. John argues the same thing in 1 John 4. As we begin to mirror God’s priorities—loving the way God loves, loving what God loves—we begin to know God, to be like him, to approach him.

*God doesn’t just love everything without discrimination. One time he said, “I hate divorce!” and another time, “Jacob I have loved. But Esau I hated.” So it’s not as simple as saying, “If I love, I’ll be connected with God,” as if just the act of loving something is what’s important.

What's The Point?

2009-01-10T11:48:00.005-06:00

In light of Adam's recent posts about diversity I think about church trends. My critique of all things emerging/Emergent is these churches tend to be white, suburban, young, educated, middle/upper class yuppies. An appropriate blog entry for Stuff White People Like would be the emerging/Emergent church. I say this in jest but there is truth in the criticism. How many African Americans, Hispanics, or Asians in the United States are involved in the emerging/Emergent discussion? Not many.

On Thursday I was talking to my professor about this and poking fun because he is involved in one of these communities. He acknowledged the critique and expanded the conversation to include many Chicago-suburban churches as well. He than posed a question around the topic of economic sharing and poverty. He asked, "Why should people in the suburbs partner with an African American church in the South Side?"

Now, he knows why. He knows the mandate to be a unified body, to work together, to help out our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. But this question pertain to diversity as well. I ask, "Why should people in the predominatelet white sburubs partner with African American churches?"

At my alma-mater, Bluffton the student body was about 90 percent white. But the leaflets and photographs had a fair balance of white, black, etc. It was an image that tried to capture an idea of diversity. So should white churches just aim to get "token" minorities for the sake of saying they are diverse? Is this actually part of our call as the body of Christ? What is our definition of diversity?

I am asking more questions than answering questions. I will suggest this; for us to move forward we need a Biblical understanding and a God-centered focus on the diversity of the Trinity.

"It's Better Here"

2009-01-09T11:26:00.003-06:00

This conflict between making selfish decisions and the virtue of selflessness comes into ironic focus when you begin “church shopping.” For Mike and I, this conflict was a bit more specific, but nearly identical, as we discussed finding and choosing a small group.

Small groups are structured around various commonalities: location, age, sex, marital status, even ethnicity. One current trend is affinity-based small groups: groups united by a common interest. For some groups, this basis only determines the topics, like relationships, books of the Bible, or spiritual practices. For others, it extends to interests like authors, sports, homemaking, or community service.

Many people seek out a small group based what they’re looking for. Can you blame them? We’ve grown up making decisions this way. We don’t know of another way to choose. It’s how the game is played. But when we choose a small group based on our preferences—what suits us—we tend to choose to be people with whom we something in common. We choose people we like.

This in natural. We don’t naturally fall into relationships with people who aren't like us. We even tend to cluster geographically with people who are like us—just look at an election map.

For small groups, when our differences cause conflict or we can’t agree on a topic, we may conclude that another group would be a better fit. We’re accustomed to think that conflict is an indication that we’re in the wrong place, that we haven't been following God closely enough.

One of the issues Paul faced in his writings was Jews in conflict with Gentiles. There were lots of conflicts of interest between various groups in the New Testament. Jesus faced plenty of conflict. (Read John 5-8.) Nothing’s changed really: We like people who are like us. But Jesus called us to love our neighbors and our enemies. Our world becomes smaller when we surround ourselves with those who are like us.

So, now we have two strikes against affinity: (1) It encourages selfishness, and (2) it discourages diversity. It’s not looking good for affinity. Is there a better way to choose?

Speed Reading

2009-01-08T14:15:00.009-06:00

I made one New Year resolution and started it on January 5th. Now, three days later, I am officially giving it up. The resolution; to read the entire Bible in a year.

I have to read large chunks of the Former prophets, major Prophets and Acts for my classes. So why not make it part of my daily devotions? It makes sense but I ran into a problem; it is a lot to read. It was more like running through the Bible in a year. The Light Speed Bible (photo above) is actually marketed as a tool to help read the Bible quicker.

(Here come some lacking metaphors) I find that reading through four-five chapters everyday is like getting drunk on wine or gorging on chocolate or speeding through the Alps. Wine should be sipped, chocolate savored, the Alps appreciated. Likewise, we need to marinade in the Word to the extent that our fingers are looking like raisins. I'll read the Bible in it's entirety but it won't be of the instant coffee version. Instead I'm going to pick the beans, give them a good smell, grind them up, and let it energize my day.

"Have It Your Way"

2009-01-08T12:35:00.003-06:00

I think most people would agree that one of the core values and teachings of the Bible is selflessness. It goes in all directions and indeed goes deeper than we typically realize. It is a bit like Anne Lamott talks of first “getting saved.” It’s was a pretty sweet deal where Jesus moves in and cleans up the house. Then one day she looks out the window and sees a crane and a wrecking ball closing in on her house. At that point she realizes that Jesus wasn’t really there to just clean up but to tear down and start over.

Selflessness has similar proportions. It make faithfulness for the modern Christian a challenge. Consider why as you read this description of Generation Y, or the “Net Geners” from The Economist:

Net Geners value freedom and choice in everything they do. They love to customise and personalise. They scrutinise everything. They demand integrity and openness, including when deciding what to buy and where to work. They want entertainment and play in their work and education, as well as their social life. They love to collaborate. They expect everything to happen fast. And they expect constant innovation.

Life in the U.S. is structured around choice. Thus, it’s built on whatever we like, our affinity—that is, our interests and values. We can afford the luxury of selfishness and choosing according to our desires. Selfishness in many spheres of life doesn’t cause much of a stir. That’s just how the game is played.

But it’s not without its challenges. One problem a lot of us face today is simply making a decision. For example, here’s a common question: “Where do you want to go out to eat?” Even the question indicates how “optionalized” our lives are. How do you decide? We ask questions like “Well, what are you hungry for?” or “What are you in the mood for?”

We throw out some suggestions, and perhaps one really awakens a latent craving. Or, if those questions don’t narrow it down, we ask “Well, what haven’t you eaten recently?” or “Do you want Italian, Mexican, Chinese, or American fare?”

Any restaurant will in fact feed us. That’s really all we require. But it is not that simple. We have to decide which restaurant we want to accomplish that. In the end it comes down to preference, our own affinity.

As you know with choosing a restaurant, this freedom doesn’t make the decision any easier. In fact, having to choose based exclusively on desire (that is, affinity) may actually make the decision more difficult. Making this sort of decision suddenly requires that we examine ourselves in some psychological way and discern how we’re feeling. I doubt I’m exaggerating. Most people mill about precisely because it is just that complex. Instead, we respond, “I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”

Oftentimes, we’re happy enough to let others decide for us because we’re exhausted from making so many decisions like this. When you reach that point though, there are still some important decisions you shouldn’t shrug off.

You need to decide about decisions. It’s important to figure out which decisions you’re willing to have made for you and which ones are really important—important enough not to leave to someone else. Letting others make decisions about where you eat is one thing. Letting others decide how you spend your money is another. And letting others decide what you believe or value is even another.

All these sorts of decisions, though, drive us back to where we started: selfishness. They require selfishness to simply move forward. We have so many options, selfishness is the practical answer in making these choices. But if our Bibles teach that selflessness is a virtue, how do we navigate this conflict?

Hard Reads

2009-01-07T08:17:00.003-06:00

I’m reading a hard book. Back in college I read Kierkegaard’s Purity of Heart (is to Will One Thing) and grasped very little of it. Now I’ve picked up another book of his called Fear and Trembling. The title I suppose tips its hat to Philippians 2:13: “work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” It is a verse I’m fond of, as you might imagine, and so perhaps was one reason I picked up the book.

But it is a hard book, not easily grasped or understood. I have read books like this before. I’m sure that you’ve had books like that too.

There’s nothing more frustrating than finishing a book and feeling more confused than when you began. This fear is one good reason many abandon books that seem to be headed in that direction.

I have learned, though, reading books like this, that it is valuable to take a “wait and see” attitude. Hold off on making a final judgment.

Now, there are many poor writers out there who simply can’t communicate well. A reader can spot them easy enough. Others write well, but their ideas leave the reader scratching his head with conclusions just out of reach. In the middle of either book, the reader may feel the same temptation to abandon it for fear that all this confusion will not clear, and his time will have been wasted.

Not so fast. Which kind of book is it? If it is the first kind, poorly written, of course, throw it out. If it is the second kind, clear yet confusing, soldier on. Often the book’s reputation, or the author’s, can help you figure it out.

Reading good, hard books, I’ve learned, requires trusting the author—believing that he will uphold his end of the bargain we’ve struck. He has spent the time writing it, wrestling with the ideas; I have agreed to take the time to read it and wrestle with them myself.

I’ve also learned that there are often indicators along the way with books that will make good. Even as I read and the big picture is unclear, brief moments of clarity will often appear. Bits and pieces will make sense. These are encouraging moments and signs of a good book. Look for them. These moments renew my trust and perseverance. If I simply make it to the end, the book might yet come together.

Another thing I’ve learned is to hold the ideas loosely and let them roll around in my head. The key isn’t understanding them but just remembering them. I find that if I can do this, I’ll make connections between ideas later, and eventually this web will begin to hold something tangible. The key is remembering.

Even at the end of a book like this, though, sometimes the clarity isn’t at all like what I expected. In fact, sometimes, I reached the end only to realize that in order to really understand, I’d have to go back and reread some or all of it. It’s as though, once I’ve finished the book, all I’ve acquired is the delicate web. But it’s a web I didn’t have when I started. Now, to reread the book is to begin to strengthen the web and catch the ideas strewn about. The book helps do this.

I also think life is a bit like a hard-read book. I have lots of the same worries and questions. I wonder if it will turn out okay. I wonder if it will bring any clarity, or just more confusion. I wonder if it’s really going to mean something.

And just like a hard book, I know I have to trust that the author is a good writer. I know that I’ve got to keep reading, believing that for all this confusion, there will be some “crystalarity” at the end. It’s not a word, but you know what I mean. Some clear and tangible. Something real and true.

And there are moments of crystalarity. And they renew my faith long enough to keep going.

But I also recognize that I need to practice remembering a lot better. There are a lot of moments that go by without much thought or concern. I don’t pay attention to them because I don’t know whether or not they’re significant. I can’t spot the important moments. But when I look back, I can see them better. The key is simply remembering—remembering long enough to see them come together. Sometimes that takes a while.

And sometimes that means getting to the end first before going back to reread the book. We need the web that we can put thing into. But that’s the value of remembering. We put memories into that web and we see them in context of the ending. We make sense of both the memories and the ending when we see it all together.

But it’s still a hard read.

Best of 08

2009-01-05T22:01:00.002-06:00

I don't know what CrackBerry.com is but couldn't find an image for this post. But Crack Beery is pretty fun to say.

Just like last year I'm going to do a random best of 08 list. The categories are as follows...

Best Movie in Theater- I saw about 7 movies in the theatre this year which is more than I saw the previous 3 years combined. I paid for probably 2 of them, thanks to my ex-roomate working at AMC. Most of them were poor but the best was probably Dark Knight.

Best Movie watched at Home- Lars and the Real Girl. A compeletely non-sequitor movie about a guy and his plastic girlfriend. Thanks to Amber for picking this movie out for our friends to watch.

Best Book Read for Class- Two books here. First, Who's Afraid of Postmodernism? You might not like schoarly jargon like "post-modernity," but this book will make you re-think Christian perpective of evagelism, worship, and gathering.

Second, The Shaping of Things to Come. I was at a suburbian-white-affluent church on Sunday and they were giving this book away for free. Awesome! Just read through the first and second chapter, that's all, and it will make you re-think church life.

Best Book read not for class- Two books again. I just finished Shane Claibornes Irresistable Revolution. Like most people who read it I feel convicted, inspired, and challenged.

Second, The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis. I'm more inclined to Lewis' fiction because it is easier to read! :)

Note: As of right now I am tired of hyperlinking everything I write. I suggest just "googling" anything if you want to find the website. Sorry but you have to earn your websites from now on.

Best Sports Moment- I was in Pittsburgh visitng family. My lowly Pirates came down from a 7 run deficiet to win in extra innings off a walk off homerun! Probably the most electric sports enviroment I have ever been in!

Best New Band/Musician Discovered- Bon Iver is quite the artist. Thanks to Daniel for this find. But really it has been a slow year for new music, I've just been looking forward to my favorites putting out new albums.

Best CD/Album..whatever- O.k. so for Christmas I waited to get some iTunes $ to purchase Anathallo, Brave Saint, Saturn, Cool Hand Luke, Denison Wimter's new works. I'm going to guess all of those could make my list. But in terms of what I have listend to extensively I would put Steven Delopoulos Me Died Blue on top of the list.

Best Web Site- I started to use Facebook this year...but it's nothing to write home about. I don't think there is anything for this category.

Best Blog- I really enjoy Scot McKnight's Jesus Creed blog. And of course this little piece of internet real estate!

Best Beer- I like beer but I really only like good beer. That makes me really white and snobbish but would rather spend $5 on one good drink than on a bunch of crud that taste like water. And drinking to the point of pointlessness has never appealed to me.

Traquair Jacobite- A nice Scottish Ale made with some coriander and chocolate so no bitter aftertaste.

Arogant Bastard Ale- Sorry about the name but this beer is rare. Another heavy Ale but brewerd here in the U.S.

Best Place Visited- I just returned from a drive to Meixco and back but would say that the city of Baltimore was my new favorite city. Going to the Republic of Georgia is up there too.

Best Food- One Saturday I helped my brother-in-law move some mulch. My sister made me a Peanut Butter and Bannana sandwhich on wheat bread. It was amazing.

Technophilia

2009-01-05T15:19:00.003-06:00

A few technology articles for your modern consumption.

On the iPhone:

"The Christian and the iPhone: A Primer for Black Friday"

"One Phone to Rule them All"

On Twitter:

"A Theology of Twitter"

Technology on kids these days:

"The kids are alright"

Prayer for a New Year

2009-01-02T11:24:00.002-06:00

O God, . . . give me neither poverty nor riches!
Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?”
And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.

Marketing is (not) Evangelism

2009-01-01T14:37:00.009-06:00

My sister showed me the latest Christianity Today cover today: "Marketing Jesus: How to evangelize without turning God into a brand."

How timely! Thanks to Laura and Ben for offering their good insights on the last post.

The actual title of the article betrays a bit more of author's opinion: "Jesus is Not a Brand: Why it is dangerous to make evangelism another form of marketing." I'll link to the article when it's up on the web, but for now I'll whet your appetite with a few quotes from the article.

"By marketing, I refer to all the activities that help organizations identify and shape the wants of target consumers and then try to satisfy those consumers better than competitors do."

The pro-church marketing thinking goes like this:

"Even if you do not intend to market your church, that's how consumers are going to perceive your outreach. They will take it in through market-conditioned filters."

"So, unless we completely withdraw from any kind of evangelism, marketing is inevitable."

But...

"...marketing is not a values-neutral language."

"...evangelism and sales are not the same. And we market the church at our peril if we are blind to the critical and categorical difference between Truth and a truth you can sell."

"Thus our dilemma: The product we are selling isn't like every other product--it isn't even a product at all. But if the gospel is not a product, how can we market it? And if we can't avoid marketing it, how can we keep from turning it into the product it isn't?"

If you're looking for some resolution on these matters, go buy the mag or wait for the article to come online. (I want to honor CT by not giving away here all the insights they offer in the article.) The article is written by Tyler Wigg-Stevenson, who wrote Brand Jesus: Christianity in a Consumerist Age. Thus, he's certainly given the topic a lot more thought, so if you're really interested in Christianity, church, branding, and marketing, I'm sure you'd find more value in reading his thoughts there than mine here.

1.2.09 Update: Kim kindly pointed us to the article, up this morning.

Is Religion Buyological?

2008-12-31T08:23:00.004-06:00

Last night I made a trip to a new Barnes and Noble that just opened up. As we drove up I told my friend, "It's like walking into the Coliseum," it was so big. The cashier I talked to said it's the biggest in Illinois. I'll say.

I intended to be in-and-out, but who was I kidding? It's a bookstore. At a table labeled "Thought Provoking," I picked up a book called Buyology. Groan, sure, but I'd say it's a pretty good title. The premise was the author used brain scan analysis to bring some understanding to consumer behavior.

Just before I put Buyology back on the table, chapter 6's subtitle caught my attention: "Faith, Religion, and Brands." Now I don't care much about consumer behavior, but I do have my opinions on church, religion, and marketing. I know, I'm very discreet about it. You would never know.

So I sat down and skimmed chapter 6. The author's argument was that religions and brands have a lot in common. I think his point was to show how strong, smashable brands can establish consumer loyalty almost religious-like fervor. He recalled a Steve Jobs product unveiling he witnessed that had characteristics of a religious gathering. For a brand, this is sort of brand loyalty is a good thing. It makes money.

He built his argument around some pillars, which he argued were true of both religions and brands. I think these are pretty self-evident, so I'll just list them without expanding too much.

A sense of belonging
A clear vision
Intent to exert power over enemies
Sensory appeal
Storytelling
A sense of grandeur/wonder
Symbols
Mystery

Unlike most of my posts, I don't have my opinion settled about this. I'm wondering what you think. Do you think the connections are valid? Do these similarities diminish the validity of religion or faith? If there are so many similarities between religions and brands, what distinguishes religion from brands? What does religion offer that brands don't (or can't), if anything? If there are no distinguishing marks for religion, what value is it?

I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

Progress

2008-12-27T14:46:00.003-06:00

This is my humble attempt to share my vision God has given me for post-Seminary. My propensity is to over-plan and over-commit and over-think my future. I’m the guy who has plans already for 3 weekends in January and February. I make myself so busy I have to schedule time to eat and when my OCD really kicks up I manage the littlest details.

All to say; God does not fit into my plans; I fit into God’s plans. However, it is helpful to write how my calling is being shaped and what direction I feel called.

Every week I tell people what I am “doing” after graduation, or what my future looks like. Literally, I mean multiple times every freaking week I give this little spiel,

“I want to do bi-vocational ministry where I am working part-time in a church and part time somewhere else, for like, community development, social service, or in education. That way ministry encompasses all of my life. The idea is to do a “church plant,” and move into a neighborhood to help and live among the people there. So the church won’t be very traditional. If they can pay me that’s fine, if not that’s fine. I just want to be one of many leaders living in a community and helping people out.”

There is a lot to unpack there and a lot of lingo I find problematic, like…

Bi-vocational being part of a church isn’t a “job,” it’s an opportunity and calling and passion. I don’t have to have a 40 hour work week and split it between two jobs. If the church has the money and wants to pay me, cool. If not, that’s cool too.

Church plant I don’t know if I’ll be part of a venture that has any denomination backings. I’m not planning on being ordained unless the church community I get involved with requires it. I just want church goes beyond a buildings, job titles, and programs. (church means a body of people not a building)

I try to use vernacular most people understand. But explaining it to a 6^th grader, my parents, disenfranchised Catholics, seminary professors, a guy at the bar, and my grandparents, requires some tact. It’s hard for people in the church to understand let alone curious acquaintances and friends who are nominal Christ followers who graze the doors of a church building on Christmas and Easter.

One thing I don't say is, "Does this make sense?" Well...does it?

Rejoice

2008-12-25T13:27:00.003-06:00

My Dad gave a meditation last night at a Christmas Eve service with the congregation he serves. He said

"The Christmas Story is a love story, about how much God loves us to send his one and only Son."

Amen and Merry Christmas!

What Child Is This?

2008-12-24T10:00:00.001-06:00

What Child is this, who laid to rest,
in churches’ yards is freezing?
A manger low, out in the snow.
Illumined plastic, so pleasing.
This, this is Christ the King,
Who knows no bounds of humility.
Chased, chased, to lowest place
To raise us up to his glory.

We find him there but cannot bear
to put our faith in his teaching.
As cars go by, it’s no wonder why
the malls seem much more pleasing.
This, this is Christ the King,
Now at the curb for recycling:
Waste! Waste! The Son of God.
The world sees nothing worth keeping.

Words, flesh, for me, for you,
He died for us. We know its true.
But how we feel on Sunday morn,
Is rarely more than the music.
This, this is Christ the King,
These things we feel when we sing,
Safe, safe, inside the church.
But outside Jesus is freezing.

Why lies the world in sorry state,
with churches faring no better?
Good Christians, we still sinners be.
Let’s go to the curbside together.
This, this is Christ the King:
Despised, rejected, and suffering.
Taste, Taste, his love for us,
The God who's there at the curbside.

So raise, raise up Christ on high,
in hearts, with hands, for ears, for eyes.
For those who ask, "What Child is this?"
May we have something worth preaching.
This, this is Christ the King
Whom churches need for everything.
Haste, haste to bring Him back,
Let us descend for his glory.

Red with anger. Green with envy. A post for all emotions.

2008-12-23T14:53:00.004-06:00

A few articles I wanted to share with you.

In keeping with Winter Advisory, the economic downturn continues to inspire new ways of keeping the roads clear. But we don't forego our ideals. Like the beet juice I mentioned previously, Iowa roads will be using garlic salt. Red, and now green! So Christmasy.

I recently posted on the humility of Christmas. I wanted to link there to this CT article that I read just before I finished writing that post, but it wasn't up on the Web yet. Now it is.

The Drudge Report pointed to an article today about President Bush and Veep Cheney and their clandestine activities with the War Vets from both Iraq and Afghanistan--it's something the media knew little about.

This made me laugh.

And I appreciated this reminder that Love Wins.

Awkward Silence

2008-12-19T17:06:00.004-06:00

I hate lulls in conversation. In high school I would plan conversation topics before dates. Yeah... obviously that went smashingly well. At times, in an effort to avoid the conversation from stalling, I mentally prepare the next topic of conversation and how to move towards that end. But that is a pain and a tad controlling (a tad?).

Going out on a limb here...but I think many can relate to my behavior. We all have been in that situation where "awkward silence" has emerged. After a momentary pause somebody tries to sputter out anything to move from awkwardness to normallness.

I comment on this in light of conversations with God. I dont' mean to trivilaize God, like God is just one of the "guys," and we hang out, exchange stories, chill, because Jesus is my "homeboy." Rather, I mean conversation in terms of prayer.

And in my prayer life (conversation) I realize that many times I do the speaking. I try to fill in the awakwardness of silence.

Think about the start of your day. What is the first thing you do? Television? Check e-mail? Make a phone call? Turn on the radio?

About two months ago I realized I was in the habit of checking my e-mail in the morning. I rushed into distraction instead of waiting for a word from God. So by ways of this small testimony I challenge you to try to be silent before God.

Serioulsly, try this. Go into a room and sit. Don't do anything. I mean just sit. And see what happens. Let me talk you into some awkward silence.

Top Seven Nonfiction Books

2008-12-17T13:46:00.009-06:00

Here's a list of my 7 favorite nonfiction books. Yes, 7. It's a good number. If you're looking for a good read over the holiday, I highly recommend them all.

1. Desiring God John Piper
Piper lays out the guiding principle for how I think about every aspect of my faith.

2. Renovation of the Heart Dallas Willard
Like Piper, Willard is a man crush. Renovation gave me to tools and knowledge to cooperate with God in becoming more like Christ.

3. The Trivialization of God Donald McCullough
God is big.

4. Roaring Lambs Bob Briner
This book was my initiation into thinking seriously about Christian engagement with a complex American culture. There are probably better books out there (e.g., Christ & Culture), but this book was seminal for me.

5. The Hidden Power of Electronic Culture Shane Hipps
Terrible title. Amazing book. This is an easy read with big ideas. I see better how technology impacts not simply what we think about but how we think.

6. A New Kind of Christian Brian McLaren
Put feelings into words. That's the sign of a good book. This is the book that started the Emergent conversation.

7. The Cost of Discipleship Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Bonhoeffer was a rebel who found a rebellion worthy of God. He's just a stud (i.e., man crush).

Verse

2008-12-16T11:51:00.004-06:00

Musings about what to write on and this verse is all I have to share. I appreciate the NLT translation that keeps the season theme of Ecclesiastes 3 (shout out to Adam). This is one of those verses that perplexes and encourages me at the same time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.

2008-12-15T09:10:00.002-06:00

This year we’re scaling back on Christmas. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. My family is spending less on presents than has been our habit in recent years. But we may still spend as much this season as we have in the past.

The rebelcontrarian in me has had a vague notion to scale back for a few years now. But it took Advent Conspiracy to finally spark a conversation with my family. I wish it hadn’t taken some big media push by a special interest group. It goes against my nature. But I guess if it nudges someone like me in my position, then it’s accomplishing its purpose. And though I’d like to, I can’t take credit for it. Instead of proudly bearing my self-styled label—of being a hip minimalist and full of compassion—I have to lose that identity by buying into something bigger than me. Humility is easy except when it’s actually humbling.

So, at Thanksgiving we talked about how we could make this Christmas different. We threw around some ideas about what we could do as a family. We talked about working at a food pantry or finding some people in need. Did we know anyone? A recent speaker I’d heard said that our problem isn’t that we don’t love the poor but that we don’t know anyone who is poor. We were at a loss for names ourselves.

So far, our ideas had been okay, but they hadn’t really struck a chord with us. I knew that for this Christmas experiment to change our habits in a lasting way, it had to fit our family’s own personality. Sometimes it is good and necessary to introduce something foreign to our personality if it doesn’t allow for authentic good, but I still wondered if we couldn't find something intrinsic that would fit better.

“Well, when I was little we always went Christmas caroling to old people’s houses,” my sister recalled with a laugh. “Maybe we could go to an old people’s home and sing for them.” This idea met with more interest than what we’d already mentioned. Our family is a musical one, we all agreed. This was a good option.

“If we’re going with something natural for our family,” my dad said looking at me, “I immediately thought of Beth and Jake.” Beth is a single mother of Jake, who’s 9 now. We’ve known them both that whole time. “Of course, their basement was flooded this summer,” my dad went on, “so they have needs in that regard. And they’re someone who’s been a part of our lives for a lot of years already. It makes sense that we’d do something special for them.”

These ideas weren’t uncomfortable or beyond our means the way we often imagine things like this to be. But making a sacrifice doesn’t always need to be inconvenient, does it? Nor would these acts of compassion radically transform many lives, but they wouldn’t leave the people unchanged either. Small change is valid too. When the desire for big transformations prevents us from acting at all in small ways, we know that our desires have gotten out of order. Working for small change instead of big change is something that will require a humble spirit because there won’t be a visible reward. Humility is easy, except when it’s actually humbling.

But I think humility is part of what Christmas means, too. Consider this interpretation of Christmas:

“Though Jesus was God,
he did not think of equality
as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
He took the humble position of a slave
And was born as a human being.”

We typically think this is out of character for God, but consider God's self-styled residence: "I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble." It makes sense then that God would choose a cave-barn. It seems fitting even. Maybe Jesus felt quite at home there. What kind of homes are we making for him?

We all know the story of Christmas. It's been so glamorized. But it wasn’t headline news when it happened. The work of God rarely is, by our standards. Headline news would have covered the astronomic anamoly in the night sky, not the birth it pointed to. "Huh," we would've shrugged before flipping channels. But the angels got their priorities straight and made it a big deal, just like they do when a sinner repents—another non-newsworthy event. God works like that: turning insignificance on its head, having parties for it. Humility is insignificant, except when God gets hold of it. So is small change.

A Matter of Life and Death

2008-12-12T17:05:00.003-06:00

I know everyone is overjoyed that my brief blog sabbatical is over. After the e-mail and Facebook threats I caved in.

This post dates back to Black Friday...

On the evening of Black Friday I was flipping through the television. For some reason there was a BBC news feed and the British reporter was covering United States news. Now I have always thought Black Friday to be a joke and a sad example of America's obsession with consumerism. But this neutral report made me embarrassed. Authentically embarassed.

The news anchor explained, "Today in the United States was the holiday Black Friday."

I thought, "A holiday? People are defining this as a holiday."

He went on, " a day that almost rivals their annual celebration of Thanksgiving."

I thought, "How ironic that a day after being thankful for all we have we than go out to buy things we don't have."

Than came to worse part of the report. A man at a Wal-Mart in New York was trampled to death while people rushed the store. I than remembered my copy of Christianity Today (Nov). The lead article described the thousands of people lining up and fighting for food after devastating floods. Around 4 people were killed in the madness.

How sad. All the deaths are tragic but what struck me the most was the sheer contrast.

The Haitians flock for food. They gather for something to keep them alive and sustain them. We flock for good deals. We gather for something to purchase and enjoy.

If we had a better perspective on Thanksgiving/Christmas than perhaps Black Friday would be a day of sharing with people the things we are so thankful for. Like food for the Haitians.

I'm not trying to be a downer but just hoping to be a gentle reminder about blessing people this season, and all seasons. :)

Why do seasons and songs feel the same?

2008-12-11T10:03:00.006-06:00

I picked up my carpooling comrade from Midas this morning, where he'd dropped off his car for some maintenance. "Amazing the way mentioning an arrested governor sparks conversation in a service waiting area," he noted to me.

"It's sort of like the weather," I said. "We all have it in common." I recalled my high school job at a grocery store, when we carted groceries out for our customers. It was the store's special little touch to create a small-town experience for rootless consumers. I always made small talk with them about the weather.

"Yeah, I guess, we all have that in common. We all can agree on that."

"Right. For strangers, conversations center first around commonalities, not differences."

Movie quotes (and The Office, for that matter) function as universal inside jokes (if there can be such a thing) for our generation, I've noticed. If I want to establish a rapport with someone, finding commonality is essential. Tommy Boy is a good starting point. I've seen this happen with complete strangers.

Quotes can also establish boundaries pretty quickly because they work as a good indicator for how culturally hip someone is. Movie quotes will sound very non sequiter for the those who are unfamiliar with the movie. If you recieve a strange look or no response (anything besides laughter really), then you know your dealing with a culturally aloof individual. You have a good indicator about whether the friendship has potential. Why is that? Why do we evaluate possiblities by pop culture?

Another way we do this is with music. While we quote movies more often, I think music is more influential than movies. This could be argued, I'm sure. Music is a big way that individuals find commonality. This may be the first point of connection. Once, I mentioned to a group of friends a musician I had gone to see. One girl was very surprised. She hadn't pegged me for that sort of person. A few months later, we were dating.

Interestingly, on our first date she gave me a mixed CD of some of her current music. When I told my sister this, she said something like, "Oh, she wants to be known." It was true. Music is a window into our personal lives. It is a sort of revealing, a get-to-know-you. I knew a few of the songs, but most of them were unknown to me. I liked some, didn't like some others. A few months later, we weren't dating anymore.

I've also found that friends grow to share similar musical taste, or that they find out only after a while that they share an affinity for a certain band. What is it about music that we find commonality in it. Is it something intrinsic to the music that it appeals to certain demographics? Or is it that we've been bred by mass culture to use music that way, as a means for identity? It's probably somewhere in between.

Well, I could conclude my thoughts there, but that would leave the title of this post completely disconnected. I set out to write another post completely. That almost always happens. Often I never get to the actual post I'd intended to write. That will not happen this time.

I think music evokes feelings similar to those we associate with the four seasons. Some bands feel like Winter, others like Summer, Spring, or Fall. They have nothing clearly in common with those seasons, except that in the individual similar feeling arise in both contexts.

It was interesting then that when I asked some colleagues at lunch that we agreed about which bands fell in which seasons. It's interesting that for unique personalities, similar emotions are evoked by both seasons and music to connect the two.

That's all philosophical, and maybe a bit dry from some of you. All in all, I just wanted to post a list of bands (or CDs) that fell into the various seasons. Thanks to my colleagues who helped. And I guess it's a bit of a survey too. Do you agree that these bands fit their season? And what other bands do you think fit a distinct season emotively?

Fall
Eisley
The Fray
Sixpence, None the Richer
The Killers (late Sept)
Norah Jones' "Not Too Late"

Winter
The Myriad(?)
Counting Crows
Ingrid Michaelson
Pedro the Lion
Norah Jones's "Come Away with Me"
Keane
Coldplay (Winter/Spring)

Spring
Switchfoot
Sufjan Stevens
Norah Jones' "Feels Like Home
U2 (May)

Summer
Jack Johnson (Spring/Summer)

Going Out on a Limb

2008-12-10T09:29:00.008-06:00

I like visual flow charts like the tree below. They help me figure out where I am. My heritage is Mennonite, but I went to Baptist churches a lot growing up. Now? I'm not sure where my beliefs would put me. I wish they had a test you could take to tell you which denomination you fit with best.

What's your story?

TV is new antidote for infectious happiness

2008-12-08T08:31:00.006-06:00

If you’ve been a regular reader of Watching Gravity for a while now, bless you. You probably already know then that I have a strange fixation with the subject of happiness. It seems that every few months a new spate of articles surface on the topic as some new research comes out. Then, I link to them here and bore you all to death. For all our interest in being happy, reading about happiness seems a bit removed and unexciting, I suppose. So, indulge me again as I offer up a few more bits gleaned from recent reading.

The most interesting feature of recent articles is the impact that relationships have on happiness. For example, recent research points out that those who read more and socialize more are generally happier (See! You’re halfway there already!). But it’s more likely that happy people tend to read and socialize more, and not that those things make people happy.

By contrast, increased TV viewing is correlated to decreased happiness. But the same thinking follows here: It is unhappy people who tend to watch more TV, and not TV-watching that makes people unhappy (so keep watching!). TV is actually a means of immediate gratification, even if short-lived and rather shallow in the final analysis. One researcher said that TV simply functions as an “opiate.” I guess opium makes people happy. I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone on it.

Further research up on the Internet last week on the social impact of happiness claims that happiness is contagious, to a crazy degree. You don’t even have to know the person and they can have an impact on your happiness. "If your friend's friend's friend becomes happy, that has a bigger impact on you being happy than putting an extra $5,000 in your pocket." You’ll be happier if your friend-twice-removed is happy than if someone gave you 5 large. That’s hard to believe (but it’s science!).

But they point out the most important factor. While happiness might seem like the quintessence of self-centered individualism, it’s intrinsically linked to community, to being connected. "You have to see them [your friends] and be in physical and temporal proximity.” This seems in keeping with the previous TV findings in saying that happy people socialize more. Happiness correlates to being in community with others.

In their Nov/Dec issue, Books & Culture, a favorite periodical of mine, employed Scot McKnight to author an article on the topic. It is fitting for me, who takes everything seriously (it’s ridiculous), that I would be, ahem, happy to see a serious contemplation of happiness.

McKnight cites one author’s book and again connects happiness to community, but in a different way. “The best way to predict our feelings about tomorrow [= happiness] is to see how others are feeling today.” That is, find others who are already living the way we expect to be living in the future. We’ll see better where we’re headed. It’s less about community as a context for contagious happiness and more of one as an indicator for how sick we could get.

UNO as Violence

2008-12-04T14:11:00.001-06:00

This weekend my brother-in-law brought along some DVDs recorded at a recent conference that a colleague of his attended. The sessions included some popular figures within our happy subculture, including Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo. Both figures are somewhat radical in their respective ways, challenging some of our habits of living as Christians in the United States. For this reason alone, I am inclined to like them

Tony Campolo’s talk was very big picture in some ways. He began with some axioms for interpreting Revelation. This seemed strange for a youth conference, but whatever. He began by interpreting “Babylon” and the “New Jerusalem” as symbolic. Babylon, he said, represented the Roman Empire for the first readers of Revelation—that is, it was the pervading culture of the day. It was then, and is now, the pervading value system by which we live and choose and the pervading object in which we put our trust. New Jerusalem represented Christians in the world—the Church. He argued that the New Jerusalem counters Babylon’s pervasive systems and remains standing after Babylon falls (Rev 11:15). He repeatedly encouraged people to reread Revelation 18-19, indeed the whole book, with this interpretive framework. I plan to do so.

From his premises, he made an immediate jump from Babylon as the Roman Empire to Babylon as the United States. Now Babylon is different, he said, for different people around the world: For the French, Babylon is France; for the Chinese, it’s China; for Brits, Britain. As Revelation asserts, Babylon falls—"all Babylons fall." In the U.S. context then, it is no exception. For we who can’t imagine it, Campolo made this seem like a real possibility. We have, at the moment, an economy that is crumbling before our (mediated) eyes. Whatever the reasons and causes, legitimate or perceived, the financial system that has structured our value systems and in which we have put our trust is crumbling. Campolo himself talked about his own 401k, on which he was relying in his retirement. He began to explain what he thinks it means for the New Jerusalem to stand when Babylon falls.

During a Q&A session after his talk, Campolo’s big-picture ideas were made more applicable through some specific questions. The conversation there seemed to revolve around retirement accounts and medical insurance. One question asked if 401ks weren’t simply good stewardship. This is a legitimate question, and if we were to take Campolo’s challenge seriously, it is one that is of great impact on our own decisions. Should I plan and save for retirement, or does that make me like the rich man who built bigger barns to store his stuff, and to whom God said, “You fool!”?

In regards to medical insurance, Campolo referred to preceding speaker Shane Claiborne and even the Amish. Claiborne is known for radical compassion and the new monasticism he is leading in Philadelphia. There he lives in the ghettos among the poor, the homeless, the weak, and the least. He has pulled together with about a hundred others, committing to help pay for any medical needs that arise among them. Upon reflection, this seemed to me like insurance on a micro scale. It is like an insurance company, except it functions within the context of relationships, not corporations. Everyone knows each other in this context, whereas a typical insurance company is disembodied and impersonal. I think this is a key distinction for Claiborne.

This led, like usual, to some lively discussion in my family (we’ll discuss anything). I attempted to argue for Campolo’s views within the American context, while my sister raised good points about how impractical it is here, “pie in the sky” was her term.

“You’d have to be very committed,” she said, “to making such a thing happen. To pull together a hundred other people committed to the same thing to make it work at all.”

She’s right. You only have so much energy to commit to various causes of life, and you must care about this one area specifically to really make a go of it at all.

“Besides, doing it might take quite a while, and I don’t know where we’ll be five years from now.”

To this I suggested that perhaps staying in one place could be more important than moving to the next location. This sort of stability and longevity is obviously something that has been in my thoughts recently, so it was interesting to arrive there in conversation.

“But we don’t feel God is calling us to do that,” my sister was saying.

It was a trump card I couldn’t beat.

Still I wonder if the whole system we’ve built up around ourselves is a system in conflict with these values, which Campolo was suggesting were biblical, and which Claiborne agrees with by the way he's living. In this U.S. context, the ideas of providing for each other’s medical needs or providing for the elderly indeed seem like “pie in the sky” as my sister said. In fact, I often feel this tension when reading my Bible. I find myself asking, “Is this a nonnegotiable? Should I be doing more of that and less of this? Is Jesus' call, God's will, really that extreme?”

Later in the evening, some friends were over. The young boy determined that we should play UNO. I was amenable to it, and we all ended up playing four rounds. I was sitting next to my dad. Now when we play our usual game, Scrabble, it often goes poorly for him. He becomes somewhat despondent in these games where luck outweighs strategy. He starts to draw bad letters, and things just decline after that. He increasingly rubs his face and gasps, “Gosh!” Sometimes he just becomes a bit belligerent toward fate. It seems that fate dealt him similar afflictions in UNO.

As the game progressed, I was regularly playing cards like “Draw Four,” “Draw Two,” “Skip,” and “Reverse.” The consequences often fell on him. With each blow he alternated between glaring at me and pleading with me. At one point, he’d missed four turns in a row. At another point, he was rifling through at least 20 cards to find a yellow—without luck. I couldn’t help it. What could I do? That’s how the game is played.

Then I was reminded of what Campolo was trying to show us. Just like Babylon, UNO functions on a certain system of principles, a set of values. It has certain cards that you must play to win the game. You can’t play UNO without doing violence to your opponents by adding cards to their hand or preventing them from playing in a given round. In fact, every participant is an “opponent.” There is no community in UNO, only division.

Campolo was saying something like that I think. And I think Jesus is often saying it too, that despite what we’ve been led to believe, we don’t have to play the cards we’re dealt. You have a “Skip” and a “Draw Four” in your hand, but no one's forcing you to play them. Draw again for a card that won’t hurt your opponent. In fact, quit thinking of him as an “opponent” at all.

Of course you will also lose the game. But it begins to sound a bit like words Jesus spoke. Words like, “Love your enemies” and “Whoever wants to be first among you must be your servant.” These are two axioms by which the New Jerusalem will be standing long after Babylon has fallen. All of Jesus words, really, are the foundation of that whole city.

We are not called to quit playing UNO. We are called to quit playing by the rules we’ve been taught. You have the cards to harm your neighbor, but you don’t play them. You don’t skip over them or reverse course to avoid them, even if it may be to your own advantage. Often it will be. You don’t need to pile them with burdens that you yourself could help them bear, even if they burden you unjustly in return. In fact, you don’t just refrain from harming them, you find ways to help them out.

Winter Advisory, or Beeting the Streets

2008-12-02T14:00:00.005-06:00

Saturday afternoon, I was in Iowa when it started to snow. With weather patterns the way they are, I knew that I’d be travelling into more snow Sunday driving back to Chicago. Weather is an important variable for people who are travelling. A light snow fall in town can be a blinding, accumulating travel hazard on the highway. Knowing what the road conditions are and what inclement weather drivers will face is valuable information. Is it a blizzard or a light dusting? How many inches? In the summer, there are thunderstorm and tornado watches and warnings. I still can’t remember which is which. If you’re with my sister when one of these comes up, the difference doesn’t matter, you’re going in the basement.

I went out to eat with my parent Saturday evening where the waitress—a blond who’d exhausted herself with a 14-hour day—informed us that there was a “winter advisory” out.

Now, as ill informed as I am about the difference between watches and warnings, I think “winter advisory” is just weathermen getting together and saying, “Let’s make our jobs legitimate when we have no weather to report. When it’s cold out we’ll call it a ‘Winter Advisory’!”

This is as absurd as having a Fall advisory or a Summer advisory. “Watch out for falling leaves. Ladies and gentlemen, just to be safe, we’re going to issue a Fall advisory, ” The National Weather Service is even in on the Winter Advisory kerfuffle. But who could say with a straight face, “The National Weather Service has issued a Summer Advisory. We encourage all people to take shelter or find some shade. It’s just too sunny outside today.” Oh wait, that’s what the UV Index is for.

I just don’t get how you can warn people about a season. Beware! It’s Spring outside today. You might want to wear layers, or at least grab a light jacket before heading out the door this morning.

While the weather forecasters are thinking up new ways to keep us advised, the economy has forced state and local road crews to find alternatives to salt for our streets, which is in short supply apparently. Just like snackers around the holidays, the roads are getting a mix of salty and sweet this year. The typical salt brine solution is now being supplemented with sugar beet juice. It looks like it started last year in Ohio and Indiana, then Chicago adopted it late in the season.

So, if you’re environmentally conscious but also concerned with appearing hip, you would do well next time you see snow removal trucks on the road to point them out to your friend and mention how great it is that they’re “beeting the streets.” If your friend looks at you funny, it’s clear that you should have compassion and enlighten her about why it’s no longer called “salting the streets.” You’ll be doing her a favor.

Me vs. 5 Year Olds.....bring it on!

2008-11-30T08:27:00.005-06:00

I am a peace-loving person so allow me this audacious speculation.

In college I was blessed with a great group of friends. My favorite activity we did was talk. During meals (and especially after) we would entertain ourselves with conversation. Normally the topics were ridiculous and absurd. But always hilarious.

One of my contributions took place during our sophmore year. Sitting in the commons after dinner I asked the question, "How many 5 year olds could you beat up?" We discussed what qualified "beating up," where this would take place, the resources at your disposal, etc.

During my time in Scotland and here in Chicago my friends have also been humored by this conversation topic. Our imaginations can be absurd!

I shouldn't be surprised that we aren't the only ones. If you go to this interactive website it will tell you exactly how many 5 year olds you could take in a fight. The website is aptly called How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

I'm not going to lie, when my brother-in-law sent me the link I was a little too excited. This helps me know that I am not alone in the world.

I can take 23.

(Take a note of the forum that inspired this blog. After the idea was posted there was over 50 responses in 45 minutes!)

Best/Worst

2008-11-26T13:07:00.004-06:00

Not that you need to know this but I thought of this post in the shower last night. Remember that show Best Week Ever, on VH1? Actually it might still be on so I might be showing some ignorance. Well here is the best and worst of the last three days. Very random categories. I think I thought of better ones last night but oh well....

What I heard on Monday at the high school

Worse-A teacher told me, "The next class you have is a challenge and some pretty bad kids."

Best-Two kid's conversation, "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries."

What I saw on while running Monday

Worse-A Salvation Army ringer outside of Walgreens with Christmas music blarring. Come on, let's wait until T-giving.

Best-my apartment, because I was done running.

What I heard on the radio

Worse-This song called Hot n Cold by a girl name Katy Perry. One line goes, "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes." Great simile.

Best-The song Two Set of Joneses by Big Tent Revival. That is old school Christian music. Also one of my sister's favorite songs!

What I thought

Worse-This semester is ending soon. I have a lot of work to do.

Best- I have a couple days off to get some homework done.

What I ate

Worse--Some cantaloupe that tasted like it was dug out of the trash.

Best-Some cornish hen. Never had it before. Thanks to my bro and sis-in-law.

Football I watched

Worse-I watched the St. Louis Rams play a little bit. That is bad.

Best-PSU beat MSU. Every year we have a bet and the loser has to make the winner creme puffs. So Dad, get out your famous recipe.

What I saw driving

Worse-Chicago traffic

Best-Does that gas station sign say $1.76?

Fixed Points

2008-11-25T08:22:00.002-06:00

“The next place I live,” Mike was saying, “I’m going to settle in. I’m going to have a place for everything and really unpack.” We were talking about the next chapter, after this apartment. In a few months, all of the current tenants here will be looking for new homes. They’re making the building ready for sale. This change wasn’t unexpected really, just not for that reason. Mike has been in school the past three years, and he’ll be done in the spring too. I’d always anticipated we’d all move out after he graduated.

About the time we found out about our deadline, our apartment building became the set of Friends (since everything in real life is defined by hit TV comedies). I live with two other guys, and on the floor below we have three female friends who live together. When they all moved in, I proposed that we have community dinners together once a week. We’ve been doing it now for only a month or two, but I look forward to it every week.

When we moved in, I had no idea that I’d still be here two and a half years later, or that it would feel this familiar. I think when most people think about the future, they project it out in straight lines from the present. What we can’t foresee are all the lines that will intersect with our own and change our course, in small and large ways. There are certainly intersections we hope or plan for, but they aren’t certain, and there are many more we just can’t anticipate. For a single 20something, intersections can change a lot of things. I don’t have to tell you that.

I was reading an article this weekend about cell phone and they’re being used by billions of impoverished people. It’s saving them time too. When a billion people are each saving a little bit of time, that’s a lot of time savings. It’s a small change, but it creates a big difference.

In the article, this line hit my life: “In an increasingly transitory world, the cell phone is becoming the one fixed piece of our identity.” How long have you had your cell phone? I’ve had this model for about a year. I’ve had this phone number for probably six or seven years. Anyone I’ve given my phone number in the last 2000+ days could call me tomorrow and get a hold of me.

That could be a scary thought, but it’s that reliable. I haven’t had anything in my life that stable in the last six or seven years. Since then, I’ve lived in three states, called at least five places “home,” dated a few different girls, bought a new car, worked three or four jobs, and had maybe a dozen roommates. My cell phone has been one of the few settled parts of my life, and even at that it’s only the ten digit number, not the physical phone (I’m on number 3). Why is something mobile the thing I can rely on most?

Recently I also started reading a book called Searching for Home: Spirituality for Restless Souls. It was selected at a book club I’m a part of. I didn’t go looking for a book to tell me how rootless my life is, but it came and found me.

All in all, it’s had me thinking more about the upcoming move. Mike was speculating last week about where the whole cast would end up after the series finale in May. He rattled off where he thought each character would be. Closer to work, closer to home, out of state, toward downtown, with another friend. He didn’t tell me where I would be. Even I only have a direction: northeast. Like Abraham (the similarities end there).

Most clear from Mike’s quick analysis was that none of the cast would still be together in 8 months. We would be dispersed in all directions from here. We would all find a new place, with new casts, new shows. We’d be new characters.

In Searching for Home, Craig Barnes outlines how we, without other stable points of reference, establish identity in relation to the roles we have in our lives. For me, in different contexts, I am a supervisor, a friend, a roommate, a small group leader, a brother, a son, an uncle.

Barnes put it this way: “The individual becomes nothing more that a collection of roles defined by unrelated demands.... She knocks herself out to succeed in all of the identities because they each offer her something.” He goes on to quote Kenneth Gergen: “Who and what we are is not so much the result of our ‘personal essence’...but how we are constructed in various social groups. The initial stages of this consciousness result in a sense of the self as social con artist, manipulating images to achieve ends.” As much as I try to live consistently, I can’t, if only because different people bring out different sides of me. Things like Facebook and even this blog are a challenge because it is the intersection of many of those images.

Of course, my cell phone isn’t the most stable thing in my life. I should say that God is, and I believe that’s true. But when life takes a new trajectory at every intersection, it’s hard to approximate anything like the stability of relating to the immutable God. When I can’t project a straight line off the front of life into the future with any certainty, then outlining what an lasting relationship looks like feels quite impossible. It’s outside my experience.

This summer, I attended a meaningful and heartbreaking funeral. He was the father of a friend of mine. Three people gave eulogies: two “old friends,” and one “new friend.” The two old friends had known him for more that twenty years. I sensed in their words an abiding knowledge of him, a commitment to him, and a desire to carry on the investments he’d made in them. I wondered what that was like.

There are a lot of people who pick up and move to advance their careers and build better lives. And perhaps one day I will find myself faced with a decision like that. But I witnessed in those eulogies something that no career could build.

I’ve lived in Chicagoland now for three years and been committed to a church that comes and goes in much the same way. I’ve led a small group that whole time and have probably had 40 people come and go. Only two or three of them have I known in any consistent way for more than a year.

Now, I’m certain that any sort of faithfulness on my part will never approach any similarity to our reliable and unchanging God. And I’m learning that few 20something friendships last longer than a few seasons of Friends. But I can take a more modest aim and hope to be more faithful and reliable than my cell phone number.

Rock Steady

2008-11-24T23:16:00.004-06:00

I titled this post and then realized it is the name of one of the bad guys in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Don't act like you didn't know that already. Everyone loves TMNT.

I woke up at 6:50 this morning to my phone ringing.

The voice said, "Hi Mike, are you available to sub today?"

After fighting through my pillow I managed to say, "yes."

So in an instant about 20 minutes I rearranged my other work schedule. Canceled/re-arranged a meeting. Decided that the Greek homework would have to wait. Looked up directions from the high school to the airport to pick up my friend, etc, etc.

I'll be honest, it's not always fun. My day can instantly because of a phone call from someone I have never met before! Since today was altered it means that the rest of the week is changed as well. I push back appointments, time to do homework....and I just realized while writing this I missed a meeting today. Whoops. I totally stood somebody up.

My evening was just as unpredictable. Soccer game, canceled, back on, canceled again. Stopping to visit a friend, he's gone, he's back home, calls me, too late. Meeting friends later in the evening. We play phone tag. Where are we meeting? When?

All this to say that as I sit here, prepping for bed, one thing remains steady. That thing is what I read this morning. I can't explain it but these words just keep echoing in my mind. I don't know how or why but they do. It's nice that with all the variables and changes there is consistency...

Psalm 62:1-2
For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall never be shaken.

Silence and Solitude in Bonhoeffer and Foster

2008-11-20T15:56:00.005-06:00

Many people seek fellowship because they are afraid to be alone. Because they cannot stand loneliness, they are driven to seek the company of other people. There are Christians, too, who cannot endure being alone, who have had some bad experiences with themselves, who hope they will gain some help in association with others. They are generally disappointed. Then they blame the fellowship for what is really their own fault. … The person who comes into a fellowship because he is running away from himself is misusing it for the sake of diversion, no matter how spiritual this diversion may appear. He is really not seeking community at all, but only distraction which will allow him to forget his loneliness for a brief time…. (Life Together, 76, online here)

Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude. ... Our fear of being alone drives us to noise and crowds. We keep up a constant stream of words even if they are inane. ...But loneliness or clatter are not our only alternatives. We can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment. Solitude is not first a place but a state of mind and heart. It is quite possible to be a desert hermit and never experience solitude. But if we possess inward solitude we will not fear being alone, for we know that we are not alone. Neither do we fear being with others, for they do not control us.

Without silence there is no solitude. Though silence sometimes involves the absence of speech it always involves the act of listening. Simply to refrain from talking, without a heart listening to God, is not silence. One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless. We are so accustomed to relying upon words to manage and control others. If we are silent who will take control? God will take control; but we never let Him take control until we trust Him. Silence is intimately related to trust. (Celebration of Discipline, 84, 86, 88)

Silence is nothing else but waiting for God’s Word and coming from God’s Word with a blessing. But everybody knows that this is something that needs to be practiced and learned, in these days when talkativeness prevails.

The day needs definite times of silence, silence under the Word and silence that comes out of the Word. These will especially be times before and after hearing the Word. The Word comes not to the chatterer but to him who holds his tongue. The stillness of the temple is a sign of the holy presence of God in His Word. (Life Together, 79, online here)