Thanks to Amber and Rachel for the inspiration (If you remember the title for the post feel free to send it to me) :)
Most people will be surprised for me to write about this subject. The fact that people are surprised I’m engaging (pun intended) the topic "singleness," is telling. I’m outspoken in saying I'm content with being single. That might sound forced or fake but it’s not. I’m definitely no lone ranger but have found peace.
A lot of people have stared and literally shook their head, “How? How is that possible? I don’t believe you.” Most people think I’m odd and I can deal with that. But the difficulty is that there is only one friend ever who says he can relate. So here is a weird twist, if you think being single is lonely try being single and being the only one o.k. with that.
Because of my contentment I think many of my friends and family find it bizarre when I talk about potential relationships. I imagine them saying in their mind, “Well everyone single is searching for a mate, but Mike, well it’s Mike!.” Haha, if only people knew.
Check this out. I’ve been told that I have ridiculous standards for dating. Which probably means I have impossible standards for marriage. (Who ever started using the word “standard?” Is dating/marriage like a car impact safety test?) I’ll concede to those accusations and add another weird twist. You might be discontented with being single but imagine wanting to be discontented. As much as I am content with being single part of me would love to be discontented. I would joyfully embrace the opportunity to be discontented.
Maybe a metaphor would work well. If you walk around barefoot everywhere eventually your feet will grow callous and tough. After awhile you wouldn’t need shoes and grow content with being barefoot. But you would notice everyone like you was wearing shoes. After some time you think it would be nice to have shoes but you don’t need them because you have grown accustomed to being barefoot.
Does that make sense? All I’m saying is that it would be great to meet someone who makes me wish I wasn't single.
So I recognize this is hands down my most transparent post but I like to follow my friends lead. If this sounds despairing or like a complaint than you are reading it wrong. Every freaking day I am overwhelmed by the blessings in my life. I tell people they cannot begin to imagine how amazing my life is. The reason is because of my friends and family and the God who loves me.
3 comments:
Some advice from someone who is older and wiser: try putting on some shoes.
And this comment highlights exactly the problem. Behind this comment is the idea that companionship is as simple as putting on shoes. This perspective says to single people that their singleness is a result of them not doing something. As if only we would fix ourselves then this mysterious singleness "disease," would be cured.
To anonymous: I'm just hoping the metaphor didn't resonate with you or else you might be that insensitive. It's not that I don't want to put on shoes, I want that desire, but I find it maddening that it's lacking. Telling me to somehow awaken this desire within me isn't going to spur me on but probably make me feel kinda crappy.
Sounds like advice I'll ignore.
Mike,
At the end of today's (Easter) message, I put your picture on the big screen and used the "rent a Jesus" illustration. I concluded with the question, "Are you experiencing Easter by just renting Jesus or do you own Jesus? Or, should I say...does Jesus own you?" It went great. And afterwards, 12 single gals wanted to know, "Hey, is that guy single?" :) Dad
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