Tuesday, February 05, 2008

24 turn 25

So I am at the mid-mid life crisis.  I turned 25 on Sunday.  Yeah, that's right.  I had a Super-Bowl-Birthday!  Jealous? 
I don't feel 25 years old.  In one vein I feel a lot older. 
In a lot of ways I'm fortunate and spoiled.  Not many people my age have had such a vast array of jobs and relationships.  Not many my age have my unique education or travel experiences.  But I don't highlight those things to bolster myself, rather it reminds me to be thankful.
On the other side of the spectrum, I'm not so fortunate or spoiled.  I think I have experienced some things that have aged me well beyond 25.  My cross-cultural experiences have brought me face to face with a lot of poverty, brokenness and pain.  Working at the hospital ushered me into places of death and despair.  I don't highlight those things for empathy, rather it reminds me that God goes deeper than pain.
The things that use to make me laugh, (Family Guy, the Simpsons, certain humor) doesn't anymore.  I don't think that is necessarily a lack of joy but my humor has matured.  I find joy and laughter in more intricacies in life.  Recently I really feel like God has just restored a sense of joy in my life, thanks to the people I'm around.
Still I don't feel 25 years old.  In the other vein I feel a lot younger.
My friends are getting married or are married.  I'll admit I'm just too selfish with my time to be prepared for marriage.  Other friends are having or have kids.  I have a hard time keeping track of my work schedule and fiances let alone worrying about raising a family!  I'm not ready for a full-time job and I still laugh when one of my friend farts. 
As for this next year I don't know what is going to happen.  In recent years I always have a concrete plan or timetable (1 year volunteer service, 8 month interim job, 3 month summer job, hospital work for 5 months, etc)  But now I am just walking forward without knowing. 
And I get a feeling that God is preparing me for something big.  I'm ready.  Bring it on.

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